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Falling...

Unread postPosted: Wed Sep 01, 2010 9:20 am
by mhanico
I'm new to NA and have been sober 21 days now from Pot and Alcohol.
I have been seeing some transformation during the past few weeks, but also have awakened to some serious anger I have built up inside and pain which I have been numbing on and off for several years now.
My wife of 3 years doesn't seem to understand even though she tries and its hard communicating anymore. I try and share with her and sometimes after I do I feel as though she isn't even listening. I've actually found on a few occasions that she wasn't and new nothing of what I said to her.
I am fighting relapse right now and am hurting really bad. I feel broken, lost and alone.
Tired of fighting and sometimes contemplate being wild like Jim Morrison and just leting go until it all ends.
I'm not trying to kill myself, but I know what I have done will if I continue to use.
Thanks for listening and letting me vent.

Re: Falling...

Unread postPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 9:41 am
by oliviagrace
Try hitting up a meeting! Just going and listening always makes me feel better, and the fact that I'm in a room with people like myself when a lot of the times I feel alone is a very powerful thing.

Re: Falling...

Unread postPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 2:45 pm
by Uncmfrtblynum
Don't give up. I need to build a network of sober people that also understand. I have been sober for less than 24 hours and I'm already feeling irritable and angry. I want to do this for myself but I'll need help.

Re: Falling...

Unread postPosted: Sat Sep 04, 2010 10:11 pm
by JUSTAMOM
addictions victorious is a great meeting, show you how to live with joy---get a sponsor who you can call---

Re: Falling...

Unread postPosted: Mon Sep 06, 2010 4:26 pm
by conesto412
For all of the newcomers, I remember hitting up my first few meetings and feeling the same way. But by going to meetings, getting peoples numbers and listening to other people this program really works. In the beginning I could only sit an listen, then I started to take suggestions from others and that was to get a sponsor and work this program. For real, this program works - there are people who love you and are there to listen to your struggles, because we are all going through alot of the same emotions even after a few days or years clean.

Please, give yourself a break and hit up a meeting!