jasontorinn wrote:dear need help, i got clean ten years ago, my life compared to now was unimaginable. i relapsed one year ago. i have managed to lose almost everything. i am a father and a husband. i have managed to burn my life to the ground. i wake everyday and work to get straight, but through everything i remember in the back of my mind waking up and just being happy to wake up. when i cleaned up i removed all those people around me who still used. it was so hard they were the only friends i had mixed with alot of insecurity. in doing this it got better. i did meeting everyday and things got better. i was part of something. now i stand here feeling so alone surrounded by people who depend on me and love me. like i said i am two days clean clinging on to each minute to not use. hopeing against hope i can go on. i know whwat life is like clean i want it so bad but the hurt still holds me. the shame and hopelessnes surrounds me. i just want you to know one thing, one promise i can give you. it will get better life will return to you and you can do anything you want. meeting helped me and anger. anger at my disease. i hated it so much and i need to get back there. i wish you all the the strength in your path. with hope, jason
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