Wife rehab

This forum is for family and friends of people who are addicted to drugs
Forum rules
Please consider replying to an existing message. It only takes a minute and you may help someone else in need. A simple word of encouragement goes a long way.

Wife rehab

Unread postby nukengineer » Wed Oct 19, 2011 6:42 pm

I have been married 13 years my wife is addicted to stupid presc. drugs, she has been arrested twice
I have battled with her, threatened to kick her out been ripping our marriage apart for 4-5 years. She is a pathological liar, I hate this person who she has become. She has been inpatient treatment for 2 weeks this Friday. Her counselor says she has finally stopped resisting and arguing with her. She has written our 3 boys, my parents, her Father and not a word to me. I don't get it I am paying for it I got her out of jail. I have spoke to her very mean in the past out of my hurt and anger about her addiction and lies. I sent her a card, photos of is the children, and yet she hadn't lifted a finger to say jack crap to me. Why? Is this normal? She was telling me how much she loved me before she left, begging me to not have an affair... IDK, she is freaking crazy, I am not that kind of man, however hell if I know what all she has been up to....Any suggestions on why she would avoid communicating with me?
nukengineer
 

Re: Wife rehab

Unread postby abclimo » Thu Oct 20, 2011 3:22 pm

Nukengineer: I saw your post and I just had to reply to you. I've been there, done that, have the t-shirt as they say. I too had a prescription pain killer addiction. I hit rock bottom in June of this year and I realized that I didn't want to be existing around my drug use anymore, I wanted help and I sought help through a rehab, which it took me about 30 days to be able to get into. I can relate to how your relationship was working before she went into rehab, because my marriage was in the same place, my husband and I fought almost constantly about my drug use, I would lie about losing the pill I was about to take, so I could get another, etc. When you're in active addiction, you focus so intently on making sure that next pill will be available when you want it, not when you're supposed to take it. You'll be the last one she forgives because you were her enabler, stuck with her through it all, told her she had drug problems, said some mean things to her about her addiction and she could be angry with you for not encouraging her to get help sooner. She could also be angry with you because what you said to her may have made her realize that she had a problem and she didn't want to face the fact that she had a problem. Sometimes we are the last ones to realize we have a drug problem, either by wearing blinders or denial or whatever excuses we could create. She wanted to be sure that you were going to be around for her to come back to, by begging you not to have an affair, she was telling you she wanted to be with you still. I can tell you from being in the rehab and going through detox, that you feel like garbage for some time and it's really rough on your body, mind and soul. You start to feel feelings again that you have self-medicated to not feel, like anger, frustration, anxiety, sadness and it's not really pretty when you first start to feel them, they are almost overwhelming. Also, the schedule in rehab is exceptionally rigid as far as structure goes, they make you busy getting educated from 0700 to almost 2200, that's a really full day for anyone. I myself was very angry at my husband because I couldn't understand why he couldn't just stop fighting with me, leave me alone, after all I was taking these medications for pain and I was prescribed these medications by a physician, why didn't he understand that? Why wouldn't he let me be numb with my drugs, so I could go through life existing. The difference is that I went into rehab with open arms, ready to be done with the whole drug scene and begging them to get me in so I could get clean, it sounds like your wife didn't go willingly and has been resisting. You don't say if they are using anything to ease her from her drug of choice to being clean. Some places use suboxone, some use tranquilizers, some use a mix or something else. I didn't want to switch one addiction for another, so I got off their meds as quickly as I could so I could get clean and get out of there. At first I could't relate to "those people" at all, I was just a nice girl with a problem with drugs. When I would go to their classes and meetings, I started to listen and realized that while our paths were different, our journeys were still the same. When I came home, I found NA meetings to go to and I didn't like all the meetings I went to, but I found 3 that I feel really comfortable at, that I can go to and share what I am feeling or what is bothering me. I believe that meetings are a huge part of staying clean and being in recovery. There is a huge difference between being "clean" and being in "recovery". I believe that only by participating in my recovery and going to meetings and getting a sponsor and working with my sponsor and listening to what other addicts have to say and posting here as well that I have been able to progress to where I no longer thinking about where to get drugs or using drugs. I can't say that it was a picnic in the beginning, you basically need to learn how to live again, without drugs in your life. She's going to need a good support system when she gets home, because coming back to familiar surroundings can reactive the urge to use and the ability to get drugs. I hope I have been even just a little bit of help to you. Please keep posting, after all, you need to heal from this experience as well and it'll be challenging on both of you. All my best on your continued journey.
abclimo
Registered User
 
Posts: 165
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2011 9:46 am

Re: Wife rehab

Unread postby Guest » Thu Oct 20, 2011 10:06 pm

Thank you for your kind words....
Guest
 

Re: Wife rehab

Unread postby abclimo » Fri Oct 21, 2011 11:30 am

I'm very glad to be able to share my experience and to hopefully help someone from what I have learned.
abclimo
Registered User
 
Posts: 165
Joined: Wed Aug 03, 2011 9:46 am

Re: Wife rehab

Unread postby escape from berlin » Thu Dec 01, 2011 11:11 am

she is angry.. because you speck the thruth.. very hard 4 an addict (thruth) she can imagine her life without the pills..how will she manage? please show her pics of a happy time wen she was clean, just hold your thoughts.. if u shove them in her face wen shes not ready..she will shove them back..never 2 see again.. put them in a card that says WE ARE WORTH IT..AND SO ARE YOU..move on with your own life..be happy & enjoy the things im sure you 4 got u once enjoyed...you are not an addict...dont act like one, she is not your drug.. just feels that way some times.prayers 4 you...
escape from berlin
Registered User
 
Posts: 13
Joined: Thu Dec 01, 2011 9:21 am


Return to Family and Friends - Drug Addiction

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron