Losing my 20 year old son

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Losing my 20 year old son

Unread postby Abraxas » Tue Dec 06, 2011 8:54 am

My 20 year old son is addicted to marijuana and I don't know what to do since I can't get through to him and he won't get help. I don't want to lose him and I will do anything to help him. He dropped out of college and is selling pot to make money, and even a recent dui and robbery of his apartment haven't deterred him. He is on a fast downward slide and won't listen to anyone. Actually he listens well but is incredibly stubborn about wanting to chose this life and accept the risk and probability of jail, disease, or worse. He just wants to get high and live off the grid. I don't get it. He comes from a hardworking, close family. We have been having heart to heart talks and can talk about anything - he just strongly feels that this is the life he wants: to do what he wants, when he wants - to get get high all the time. Somehow I can't make him understand that while now he can make his own choices, soon others (police, judges, other criminals) will be making his decisions for him about his life and future. I've tried everything to get him into rehab or counseling but I just don't know what to do.
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Re: Losing my 20 year old son

Unread postby Guest » Thu Dec 08, 2011 11:19 pm

I am so sorry. I know how painful this is as a parent. You can't get him to do anything. You can control yourself. You will have to find what boundaries u can live with. The ptofessionals have told me not to enable- not to pritect him from negative consequences ans set strict boundaries.

Go to an alanon or naranon meeting.


Re: Losing my 20 year old son

Unread postby abclimo » Mon Dec 12, 2011 11:06 am

Abraxas: Thanks for your post. Unfortunately, your son has the disease of addiction. Addicts (whether its alcohol or drug) can not change until they have hit absolutely rock bottom and they make the decision to change. There is nothing that you can say or do that will change the way he is. You can see things clearly and he definitely cannot. Drugs have a definite way of clouding our vision of the way things are. Even if he gets caught and is forced to deal with it, unless he can admit he has a problem, he will probably go back to the way he is now. I know it sounds like a very bleak picture I have painted, but it is the reality of the way things are when dealing with an addict. All you can do is be supportive, but not put yourself in harm's way. Addicts are well known to be liars, cheats, and will steal from anyone to support their addiction. While they are doing this they will come up with such a believeable excuse that they even start to believe it themselves. It's just amazing. You can suggest that he go to an NA meeting and even attend one with him to show your support. It's going to be a bumpy journey and I will pray for you.
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