not looking forward to the holidays

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not looking forward to the holidays

Unread postby patti b » Mon Dec 19, 2011 3:11 pm

My 42 yr old brother has been struggling with drugs/alcohol for years. He has gotten worse in the last year and his wife and children have left him. His house is in foreclosure and he has no job. My parents give him money and are always there to take care of him. He has threatened suicide 2x this years and has been involunterally admitted and spend 12 days in a behavioral hospital. He will not admit he needs help. He had been seeing 5 different psy. doctors and getting multiple perscriptions.
On Thanksgiving he acted out and and was screaming and telling his siblings that he never wanted to see them again, he was very inapropriate in front of his child and her cousins.
My parents (78 and 79 yrs. old) do not understand why the siblings (3 sisters and 1 brother) do not want to invite him to xmas dinner or go to my parents where he will be. How can we help my parents understand why we don't want to be around him and it is not personal towards them? Are we doing the right or wrong thing? My parents think we are not being kind to him and forgiving - although he has never asked for our forgiveness. Is there some kind of a group we can join?
I am ready to stop talking to my parents because when I do, it just ends up in a fight. We need help!! where can we turn? Thanks, we are desperate!!!
patti b

Re: not looking forward to the holidays

Unread postby Guest » Thu Dec 22, 2011 8:19 am

Al-Anon would be a great place to start. It would help your parents understand where you, his siblings, are coming from and why helping him may not be the best approach (as harsh as it may sound). There are also tons of books that you (parents and siblings) can read to understand what addiction is all about and what we can do to help the addict. Click on the Media section on the Home page of this web site, then click on the Books section. Hope this helps.

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