Advice?

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Advice?

Unread postby sam » Sat Mar 10, 2012 8:28 pm

Like so many people here I am lost and alone. Simply stating a fact. My wife was a crack addict, kicked it 5 yrs ago, 1 brief relapse 2 yrs ago, now she is gone again. Don't know where she is or when she will be back, if ever. I feel like an idiot because I really didn't see it coming. Stupid.

So I'm just looking for any advice from anyone. What should I do if she comes back? hospital? psych ward? rehab? She almost agreed to the psych ward last week for suicidal intentions, but recovered (I thought she did).

I know I have to figure it out on my own. My 4 yr old boy is devastated. Just any ideas on what to say or do would help.
sam
 

Re: Advice?

Unread postby abclimo » Wed Mar 21, 2012 1:59 pm

Sam: Hi and welcome. I am so sorry for what you are going through. Please know that you are not alone, we are here for you and we do care! Please don't think that you are an idiot, because you are not. We as addicts in our active addiction become so good at lying to others and to ourselves. Your not stupid either. It's great that you're thinking about what to do when she comes back, and it's important to stick to your plan no matter what she says to you. From what you've said, I assume she has some mental issues as well as addiction, and that's not too surprising. So many times, we self medicate to deal with things, and that's not the answer to our problems. Personally, I would suggest rehab because you can choose one that will deal with both issues. The psych ward will only deal with her mental issues. I am positive this is difficult on you and your son, but it will be more difficult if she dies. It's important to help her get the help she needs, but it's also important that you do not allow yourself to be manipulated by her. If you stick to your plan she'll see that you mean business and that's important. It's like dealing with another little child. If you don't enforce what you say, she'll feel as though she can keep doing it and the longer she does it, the more damaging it will be on you and your son and the higher the chance that she die. Please keep posting because we do care what happens. I will say a prayer for you and your family.
abclimo
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Re: Advice?

Unread postby first timer » Thu Apr 05, 2012 1:36 am

First be calm around your son. He needs you to be that good example. Give him that love your missing from your wife. I agree that rehab is the place for your wife. There are groups to give you support also. Try this website, http://www.pa-al-anon.org/meetings.html. They deal with families and friends of alcoholics and can help you. Your doing the right thing looking for help. So allow the people that have been there to guide you. And most importantly pray for your wife and son. I will put you in my prayers.
first timer
 

Re: Advice?

Unread postby prv1960 » Thu Jul 12, 2012 11:13 am

I totally agree with the other comments about your son and praying...definately pray....I have been going through this and he just used again last night....only clean for 4 mos this time....No rehab,dr, or church has changed a thing in his life...he is an addict with mental issues and he is an abuser,anything from emotional to physical...He threatens to throw me out windows,smash me in my face,bury me where no one will find me, and so on. when that doesn't work, he puts me down everyday from morning to night, He actually says he loves me but doesn't like who I am....really...seriously....He doesn't like himself....anyway, My heart goes out to you. I pray each day and I will pray for you.....I am stuck and hate life, God is my only help....I have chased all others away....I seriously believe this is a demon possession and a spiritual sickness that no worldly institution will help, 12 steps, C'mon, He can recite these backwards....No help for him,except God, and also for me! Take care and I pray your situation turns out better than mine did...Should have run as fast as I could, and not looked back..love doesn't have good sense sometimes!
prv1960
 


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