new to this, please help

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new to this, please help

Unread postby pixydust7816 » Wed May 02, 2012 8:19 am

heres my story, the short bf and father of our new baby had just left a rehab in florida after 30 days and a horrible experience there. he is back home in a recovery house. while there, i visited, did groups, and learned that hes not sure he ever loved me, was possibly looking for a "replacement mommy" since his left at a young age, that he didnt want me or the baby when i first found out i was pregnant, and that the past year of our rel was basically a lie b/c even when he wasnt using daily he was on some form of pill or suboxone and in a fog. now mind you for 9 months all i heard was how much he loved me and the baby and all about the happy little life he wanted for us. before i left the facility in fl he told me he wanted to work on things, do couples therapy, and that itll all work out and be so good. fast forward to now, where hes been home 3 days so far in recovery home. ive tried to give him space and not call or text him so much even though im so happy hes back around...hes been very distant, and after a nar-anon meeting last night i called him and poured out my heart and soul and all i shared. his reply "hang in there" really?! we spoke later, he preached to me about how imp it is i share and talk about my feelings with him, but when i do its a disaster and i get attacked or he shuts down. during our last conv he came at me hard, accused me of manipulating him to come back (he had said for weeks he wanted to leave and told his dad to get him the first flight out last week), said im smothering him, asking for answers he doesnt have, and cant say for sure he wants to live as a family after hes done in recovery house. hes diagnosed as bipolar and being treated but this was insane it was a complete 360 attack on me, and when i broke down crying and said all i was trying to do was be on the same page as him and how ive loved and supported him through everything (i arranged the intervention and tried for months to help him) he LAUGHED at me. i dont know what is going on my world is spinning and i feel like a knife is in my heart. anyone else been through anything like this???

Re: new to this, please help

Unread postby KatSzat » Wed May 23, 2012 12:40 pm

You can not force him to get better, want to get better or see things through your eyes and heart. Do you think this situation would be a good situation for your child to grow up in on a daily basis? Maybe the best thing, which is a hard thing to realize, is that YOU and your BABY would be better off with out him. Take control of yourself, that is the only person you can control.
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