Son...23 --drug abuser since 14

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Son...23 --drug abuser since 14

Unread postby cg1965jf » Thu May 31, 2012 9:00 am

I thought he was ok, he has been through rehabs since 14, he has a great job, and he came to my home high on drugs, Dilaudid? If I spelt that right, He stole from me again, put my family at risk, drove a car, threw up all over my bathroom, than left and lied to people, turned it around to make him out to not have done anything wrong. Just like highschool when they took him out of school for being high. I need help dealing with the fact that I tried so many rehabs, thought if I did it back than he would eventually be ok, he's never owned what he did, so I need to and I need help coping...any suggestions???
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Re: Son...23 --drug abuser since 14

Unread postby MommyLou » Tue Sep 11, 2012 1:13 pm

I am the Mom of a 28 year old daughter whohas een abusing marajuana since her teen years. She insists that pot is a social sucbstance l;ike a cocktail and thinks I am crazy for feeling that she is addicted. Howwver, shes hasn't bween able to keep a steady job and suuport herself, she has tumultuous relationships which involve lots of dram, doesn't want to be around family members who are all responsible adults and I worry about her all the time. I need to take care of myself or I willl make myself sick with fear and worry but I don't know how to stop the anxiety that keeps me co-dependent with her . Any ideas???
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Re: Son...23 --drug abuser since 14

Unread postby donna » Tue Feb 05, 2013 3:00 pm

I am also a Mom of a 23 year old son who is now in rehab for the first time! I found out he has been getting high since the 8th. grade! I knew something was not right for a long time I noticed jewelry and money missing! when I woke him up with my fist and was throwing him out that was when he said Mom I have a drug problem and need help! Well with in 2 hours I was driving him to Bowling Green Rehab!! I love him with all my heart and am so scared that when he gets out how do you trust and believe he is staying sober? I went Sunday for our first meeting, and was scared to death by what I heard that some people have been in and out of rehab many times, this is no joke this is a problem that I don't know if I can continue to keep going through. He said he is looking forward to getting out and coming home and doing the 90 meetings in 90 days and getting a sponser! Is this a good sign or is he just telling me what I want to hear? I pray it is a good sign!
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Re: Son...23 --drug abuser since 14

Unread postby emberDelf » Tue Apr 02, 2013 9:50 pm

It often helps a person trying to break an addiction, to not surround themselves with things that remind them of their addictions. What they are reminded, something triggers in the brain to want that drug again. The trigger can be anything from people they abused with, or areas in which they fired it up. These triggers happen all the time in the brain not just with drugs. An example of this is when a person goes to a movie theater, and has an urge to buy a popcorn, candy, or a soda, even if they are not really hungry.
People trying to get over addictions need to be supported as much as possible, if people tell them they are not going to make it, they will use that as an excuse to abuse again. If they are depressed or stressed out, they will want to abuse as well. So keeping them in a positive atmosphere is necessary, but this does not mean that authority should not be taken. If they think they can get away with something, it becomes easier to. So if you tell them not to do drugs or you will kick them out or call the cops, do not hold back if they do not hold up their end of the deal, otherwise your word means nothing. It is a very tough and long process but if you love the person enough, the two of you can get through it. They are telling the truth when they say they want help. Just remember that the side of them that shows sometimes; the side that reminds you nothing of them, that side is not them, it is a side effect from the drugs. Just keep at it, join support groups, supporting them to a better them is the key... let them know that you are there when they want to be clean, but put your foot down when they can't control themselves...
If nothing seems to work, a past addict once told me that sometimes they just need to hit rock bottom on their own until they are truly ready to receive help...
Stay strong.
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Re: Son...23 --drug abuser since 14

Unread postby ptrish » Mon Jun 03, 2013 10:56 am

donna wrote:
> I am also a Mom of a 23 year old son who is now in rehab for the first
> time! I found out he has been getting high since the 8th. grade! I knew
> something was not right for a long time I noticed jewelry and money
> missing! when I woke him up with my fist and was throwing him out that was
> when he said Mom I have a drug problem and need help! Well with in 2 hours
> I was driving him to Bowling Green Rehab!! I love him with all my heart and
> am so scared that when he gets out how do you trust and believe he is
> staying sober? I went Sunday for our first meeting, and was scared to death
> by what I heard that some people have been in and out of rehab many times,
> this is no joke this is a problem that I don't know if I can continue to
> keep going through. He said he is looking forward to getting out and
> coming home and doing the 90 meetings in 90 days and getting a sponser! Is
> this a good sign or is he just telling me what I want to hear? I pray it is
> a good sign!
My son is also 23 years old, just returned from his first rehab stay, and I do not see any change in him whatsoever. He has been home just over one day, doesn't have any plans to attend NA meetings, nor getting a job. How did your son make out with rehab and do you have any advice? thank you.
ptrish
 

Re: Son...23 --drug abuser since 14

Unread postby Chango » Sun Jul 21, 2013 4:48 pm

i have a 26 y.o. son who went through detox for the last 10 days and I took him to a rehab house on the day he was released, which was a Friday, and he left by Sunday. He claims he needs to be around his family, i.e. his fiancee and their 8 month old daughter and her 5 yo from a previous relationship who looks to my son as a father. He claims he will still do the 90/90, find support groups, get a sponsor, take random drug tests, send me the results, etc. In fact, he will do whatever we (his mother, fiancee and I ask of him) to prove he is clean. He also suggested I attend some AA and NA meetings with him. His mother and i have been separated (and subsequently divorced) for nearly 12 years, he uses this on occasion as the reason for all his drug issues and he tries to play on my guilt. His fiancee is a former drug user as well but claims to have be clean, except for some occasional weed. They both have steady jobs. My trust level of him is as low as it ever has been, as is his mother's and anyone else who comes in contact with him. He claims he put a lot of thought and consideration into leaving the rehab house as well as talked to several people about the possible move...I am skeptical at best that he ever really was weighing options but rather looking for rationales that supported his leaving. Any and all thoughts are welcomed.
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Re: Son...23 --drug abuser since 14

Unread postby artsunshine11 » Wed Aug 21, 2013 6:34 am

I, unfortunately, have two sons addicted to heroin. I have made many mistakes with my sons: mainly being an enabler. Until I spoke to great counselors: the counselors who have been drug addicts themselves and have turned their lives around. My husband and I were always the pillow between their "butt" and the ground. We kicked our one son out (the other son is in rehab again for the 3rd or 4th time). The one son we told could not come home to live (he was 23 at the time) was bitter, was clean for one year & is back on drugs. He has stolen from us, the other son was totally functional 90% of the time, and both have cost us much money. Everytime my son comes home to visit, he gets high: there are too many triggers. The only thing that has helped me are the Al Anon meetings and the Al Anon literature you can get from these meetings. I really have to start them up again. I am going to one this AM, after not going for a year (I have only been to about 6 and could kick myself for not going weekly.)
Both my sons, especially the one, are very manipulative. When they are in active addiction, it is a common theme for any addict to lie and manipulate. They will say anything to get back to their "old life" as they don't have the stress of problem solving and changing. It is a very complicated disease: one that the addict has to change his life. We have tried to "control" them i.e. threatening them with rehab, telling them they have to go to meetings or else, & that we will randomly drug test them.... but in the end if the lightbulb doesn't go off in their head, it is 100% useless to try to control. My one son had it all: a beautiful fiance, a good job, a car: he has nothing now. They will promise you the world to get back into their old life. They both left rehab early stating there were court appointed people there, bad people, drugs, etc etc. Well, there are drugs everywhere and they used these excuses to get out of rehab and start using again. It is a disease, classified in the DSM V Manual right there with cancer, diabetes, etc. It is something they have to be aware of every single day. A parent needs to see that his child is clean & sober for a long time: not living in the house. This was told to me by the counselors as a major step backward toward recovery. We are living proof with our two sons: both came back home to "jump start their life" as they said and ended up falling back into old patterns of using. Until they are sober for "years" and have proved themselves: I will always love them, but will not enable or support their habit.
Your last sentence says it all....from my experience both my sons left rehab early basically saying: this is not for me, I can control it, it's easy to kick the habit. It was an easy way out. My father always said: "The right thing to do, is usually the hardest thing to do in life." So true. Try Al Anon the meetings are everywhere and it does help. Good luck !!
artsunshine11
 

Re: Son...23 --drug abuser since 14

Unread postby kenziee » Sat Jan 25, 2014 6:04 pm

If any of you are currently struggling or have someone in your home who is struggling, feel free to email me at mblacker03@gmail.com

i work for a non profit group called recovery society we help get addicts placed into rehabs for little to no cost.
it sounds like its too good to be true but i am being completely honest.

please email me
kenziee
 

Re: Son...23 --drug abuser since 14

Unread postby marietaryn » Thu May 29, 2014 12:45 pm

son, 19, using since 14, started with pot & alcohol. past 2 years using recreation drugs daily. got hooked on oxy"s & destroyed our lives. he got a dwi 4m ago, was lucky enough 2 get the lightest sentence. but that didn't stop him from using, it got worse. he took everything I had....money, jewelry, household items, ect..., just 2 get high. I now sleep with my pocketbook. he has taken every ounce of respect I ever had 4 him & that makes me angry. he is now in iop at lighthouse, has already relapsed, but still in iop, struggling. he is getting the vivitrol shot 2 help him with the cravings he is still having. I am going 2 my 1st alanon meeting Friday at soch 2 get help 4 myself 2 deal with the anger I have 4 him. I do support him, but still don't trust him, sad but true. btw, I am an addict also, 5yrs clean.
marietaryn
 

Re: Son...23 --drug abuser since 14

Unread postby marietaryn » Thu May 29, 2014 1:47 pm

my son started at 14yrs also.....weed. now the past 2yrs he is an addict.....oxy's & other narcotics. I sleep with my purse, he has stolen everything that was worth something 2 me. the lies were the worst of it all, because u know they r lying but what can u do about it, their adults! I can 4get the things that were said & the things that were done, but I cant seem 2 4get the feelings of it all. he is now in a outpatient program, has already relapsed once, but struggling 2 hang in there, its been 6wks now. if he relapses again, he goes 2 rehab, the iop program wont tolerate using. like I said, my feelings are still freash in my mind & hard 2 get rid of, but I believe its because it affects ur heart. just like the drugs take over the addicts mind, body, & sole.
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Re: Son...23 --drug abuser since 14

Unread postby Broken mom » Sun Aug 30, 2015 10:46 pm

Same boat here. 22 year old son. The things he's said and done have broken me.hes in a rehab far out of state. I'm begging God to help him get thru this. I will not let him die while I have breath inside me.
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Re: Son...23 --drug abuser since 14

Unread postby Doriscowan » Mon Jan 02, 2017 6:57 pm

I to am a mother of a 30 year old daughter and have been through countless rehabs with her jail halfway houses I'm at my wits end and don't know which way to turn
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