heroin addiction

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heroin addiction

Unread postby Emily » Tue Jun 19, 2012 2:40 pm

I've been with my boyfriend for three years now. We're both young, 20. During high school he was addicted to pain killers. He has had a long history of drug abuse, as well as in his family. During our relationship he would on and off use heroin. When i say i mean on and off I mean he would use for a few days, then stop for months at a time; as in 8 months about. Then he would use again. We broke up about six months ago for a period of two months. DUring that time his addiction spiraled out of control, the worst it had ever been. I guess getting back together with him i did not realize the severity of his addiction. He had told me he stopped, and he was looking much better. During the last four months he has been depressed, tired, and sometimes sick, but he has always seemed depressed. I have depression so im tired most of the time so i just figured that was why. I also had mono, so i figured maybe he got it from me. I have never done heroin, I have never had anaddiction to drugs or anything for that matter. He finally confessed to me two days ago that hes been using. Just enough to keep him from withdraw. I had no idea. I feel so stupid. He seems so ready to be clean now, but i am no fool. He agreed to go to detox last night, but it was too expensive. He is buying soboxon off of someone he knows and is/has been going through withdraw by himself. I stayed with him yesterday and I had a very hard time watching him go through it. I am afraid he will get addicted to those soboxons. Or he will relapse. I just dont understand why i wont leave him. Im completely in love with him and the last four months were the happiest months weve ever had together. Even though he was lying to me the whole time. It wasnt real. So why cant i let go? What am i supposed to do? He cant go to rehab because hes tried that so many times, he doesnt have anyone to help him pay for it, hes usedall of his savings. I am completely at a loss.
Emily
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Re: heroin addiction

Unread postby Lgt » Fri Jun 29, 2012 9:43 pm

Sweetheart, I lost many years of my life waiting for addictive people to get off drugs. Two used herion, both are dead, one used crack, he committed suicide, two drank, they both died. The last one I lost was 4 months ago. One did meth, after 20 years of using, he stopped and started drinking. It is less heartbreaking for you to leave now. The only one you can help is yourself. I am still learning this. I am 55 and have been waiting for people to stop using since I was 10. I lost a lot of my own life because of their addictions. Try to be strong and aim for a better life for yourself!!!
Lgt
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Re: heroin addiction

Unread postby Ellie » Sat Aug 18, 2012 7:16 am

Hi, i am new to the board but i have a somewhat simular situation. I am 31 and have gotten back together with an ex of 8 years ago. He was always the one that got away. My one regret in dating was dumping him. Now we are back together and he Is addicted to heroin. When we dated before we were both in aa and sober for some time. Now i have 12 years and he Is in active addiction. I am afraid he Is going to die, we Will never be able to build any kind of Life, or i Will relapse. I dont have any answers for you love but i wanted you to know i am in a similar position. Im going to alanon tonight for support. I cant talk about this in aa because its where we met and where me makes appearances as he plays with the idea of Sobriety. Last night he confessed he no longer has a desire to stop using. I appreciate the honesty but cant force myself to leave.
Ellie
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Re: heroin addiction

Unread postby donna » Sun Sep 16, 2012 11:52 am

I just clicked onto this site and started reading. I am a mother of a heroin addict I think that is the first times I have ever put those words together. I feel sick to my stomach just typing those words. I have a beautiful 34 year old daughter who is addicted to heroin. I feel lost, sad , angry most of the time but i keep this all to myself as I have her two little boys and my yourngest is 17 and just as if this is not enough for me to handle i have my 90 year old mother and i work full time. My oldest is 35 and he is thank god home from Iraq and safe. so what to do I am finding that there is nothing that i am trying to do for her that is working. At the moment i don't know where she is which is so painful i go out into the scariest neighborhoods looking for her there were only two occasions when i found her and talked her into my car the first time we spent 4 hours together the times after that were much less. I hold her hand the entire time I am trying to convince her to please let me take her to rehab but nothing nothing i do helps. I am told I have to walk away and she has to be the one to make the decision. Then I am told she is sick and not in her right mind. so how can she make the right decision if she is so sick. She has been arrested twice and hasnt shown up for court now there is a bench warrant out for her and i haven't heard from her since the middle of august. i keep thinking how much worse can this get. and the pain that she is in is excrusiating for me i can't stop looking for her I can't stop praying and thinking for her and of her and today i was thinking she is in control of how this turns out how frightning that my precious daughter is the only one that can help herself i have never felt more scared of anything in my life
donna
 


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