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Not being there for family counseling

Unread postPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2013 12:06 pm
by nlwmnp13
This is tough. We got married. I knew before we married he had a pill taking issue. He started on suboxone. Everything
Was going ok and we were gaining strength. We got married and moved in together. I have custody of my 12 year old daughter. Within 30 days of being married I knew something was wrong. It spiraled down so fast
From there and so bad. I had been in a previous marriage for 14 years with an alcoholic. So this was really bad on a personal level even for myself. My anger and bitterness kicked in along with his drug abuse. We said horrible things to eachother, he and his parents kept telling me if his job finds out he will get fired so I was angry for having to keep that secret. We became physically violent with eachother which led to me being arrested for protecting myself. He kept his cool with the cops, I was a wreck because I knew he was high and I had just been assaulted. Quickly, I moved my daughter and myself out, at first I wanted a divorce then I had suggested that we separate for a while to give us time to go to serious counseling on our own. He had already hired an attorney and filed, and followed through until it was over and done. I begged him that a majority of this was due to his using and that his outpatient program was not enough. He needed rehab! Now...we are divorced. I have since reestablished a new home, I'm back in school full time, I've maintained my job. He has lost his job, went into rehab by his own choice. He came to see me before he left and apologized. I told him I would write him and he is writing me. Now, he expressing deep regrets. He is apologizing in every letter. I unconditionally forgive him. I'm attending al anon and my weekly counseling. So we are both on a path to healing. Heres where my heart is hurting, he will be ending his rehab in about 2 weeks. He has not mentioned the family time that is approaching where it gives the family a chance to educate ourselves and prepare for the next part of this journey. He writes telling me he wants to remarry me. He loves me so much and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. But he has not asked me to join him for that part of his rehab? I'm so confused? Can anyone help me make sense of this?