we're so lost...heartbroken

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we're so lost...heartbroken

Unread postby danielle71 » Tue Sep 17, 2013 7:55 pm

Hi everyone. I'm new here and lost. I'm so confused, heartbroken, stressed, worried etc...my brother is 24 and was in recovery for heroin the past couple years. Long story short I had to break into his room Sunday night because through the locked door all I could see was needles all on the floor and him sitting at the edge of the bed out cold. By the time I was going in for the last hit on the door and through all the yelling he finally got up just for me to see all the heroin bags on his bed where he was sitting. Now going back to the past he was told if he was to ever do this again he would be OUT (its been a long road of stealing from us, lying, the usual addict mantality). We stuck by him for so long through so much. Trusted him through so much. Sunday night "one" of our biggest fears came true...he's back to using, our other fear he will die. There's nothing else we can do. We cannot enable him like we did in the past we can't live like this again. 911 was called Sunday night to have him removed. They took him to the hospital to get checked and they did nothing. They called at 5am to ask who is picking him up and my mom and I both said we are NOT. he is not allowed to enter the house without a police escort to get the remaining of his things. He came to the house yesterday and my mom let him come in to get his clothes. While he was here he told her what a piece of shit mother she is to kick him out without wanting to help him (which is WAY far from the truth). Right now we don't know where he'frs at, if he's eating, overdosing or what. I know he hates us and is scared and heartbroken. We just don't know if the whole "tough love" is the right thing to do. We are so stressed and have severe anxiety over this. It was easy for us to say get out but now its affecting us like crazy. He posted on fb he's depressed and heartbroken (we don't want to delete him from there because thats the only way we know hes alive. Hes on fb through his
phone. He texted my mom he loves her and is homesick. We can't help but close our eyes and see
him shooting up. We're so desperate for him to get better...we just don't know what to think or do anymore. Are we doing the right thing? We put out so much money for rehab, treatment, etc...for nothing. I understand the severity of heroin, how it takes over and controls everything about you BUT he had a choice to buy it, pick up the needles and shoot up. I just don't know...continue the tough love or what???? We're so lost.
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Re: we're so lost...heartbroken

Unread postby Hotpink22 » Sun Nov 03, 2013 8:59 am

I'm sorry about your brother. I have been going through the same stuff with my current boyfriend and my brother. Sometimes tough love is a trigger to the user. Cause in our mind we think if maybe we say this or that to them or take everything away from them they'll change. He has to want to change and believe in himself. I take my boyfriend to a doctor in the city where there is a meeting an they talk to the family an the users at the same time. The doctor subscribes suboxone which is an opiate blocker and also kilodpins for anxiety and depression. Maybe your brother will be interested in that it saves a lot of peoples lives. I hope maybe this will help. I joined the website today. I want to go to alnon meeting I never been an would like to go because I think it will help me an help me understand.
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