pregnant, opiate addicted partner

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pregnant, opiate addicted partner

Unread postby Rosestarz » Tue Feb 04, 2014 1:50 pm

Hello all- this is my first time ever posting on a forum such as this. The reason I am driven to do so now is that I do not feel I can talk with my friends or family about this. I am 29 years old and literally 1 day away from my due date. My boyfriend and I are having a little boy (he was unplanned, but welcome). My boyfriend and I are both liberally minded musicians, educated, from good families and had both returned to our home town when we met. I knew he had been to rehab about a year before I met him for opiate addiction but aside from being a partier in the drinking sense believed him to be clean. I had a decent job and so did he... we moved in together after finding out I was pregnant and life carried on. Throughout the fall it seemed like money things were not adding up... but I naively trusted him and we both worked so much that it was hard to keep tabs on his goings on. I was in the dark. Things started falling apart emotionally, he was being meaner, more evasive, sketchy in his behavior... and finally in early December he admitted to me and his mother that he was using again and had spent all of the money we were trying to build up for baby. He agreed to counseling and detoxed at his mothers and started going to NarcAnon. My family knew too and though it was hard for them to understand they, like I, were willing to give him another chance to get it together. Now a few days ago, I found out he was using again. All our money is gone, he stole money from his mother, he pawned my guitars and computer, took the money I was saving to pay a phone bill... It completely destroyed me. I fell apart, yelled, cried, said awful things to him... His mom is at the point where I believe she will press charges against him.
It is clear to me that I should not be with him but here is my situation: He spent all of our money, and I just stopped working last week. The plan was for me not to work for about 2 months (unpaid). If I cut him out completely I will literally not be able to pay my utilities or rent. I have no other financial fall backs in my family or otherwise. Also, I could go into labor any second and I am SO angry and feel so much betrayal... but even so I don't want to take away his chance to see his son born. If I kick him out he is LITERALLY on the streets. I am so lost, feel so alone, and despite all his horrible actions I don't want to tell my family until after the baby is born because my mom and sister will be in the birthing room with me and I don't want that feeling around me while I'm in labor.
I feel like such a failure, idiot, ignorant fool for being where I am. This should be the happiest moment for me and I have never felt so lost. What would you do if you were me? Should I sever all ties immediately? Is there merit to wanting him at the birth? He cried and apologized, and I know he has goodness in him, but he's nowhere close to recovered. I am lost, please help.

Re: pregnant, opiate addicted partner

Unread postby Changes04 » Sun Jan 04, 2015 7:29 pm

Sorry for the last delay. I just saw this now. I would have to say move back in with your parents look for into some kind of assists from the government. I'd say even look into child support until he cleans his act up. I know drugs are a disease and its such a power thing. I'm sorry to hear you and your child have to go through this. He needs to look into drug court or a rehab for 90 days away from town and away from the routine that he has set.
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