Boyfriend left me after rehab

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Boyfriend left me after rehab

Unread postby Linzey0706 » Fri Jan 29, 2016 12:51 pm

Ok, so I am mainly wondering if this is normal. It is going to be a little long but I'm going to try to give important details.

My boyfriend (ex?) and I met when I was 15 he was 16 and have dated for the better of the last six years. We split up for about a year about two years ago but ended up back together. We have always adored each other he was an amazing person always made me feel so special and I would of never seen his drug addiction coming to light. Apparently while we were not together he started with pills, and eventually switched over to heroine, which makes for the last 3.5 years of drug use. I had no idea honestly, a little niave but also he hid it well. About four months ago now, things got terrible, he wasn't the same person so I told him I couldn't do it anymore and chalked it up to growing apart. He begged me not to leave him, so I kept in contact and told him we could work on things . About a month later, he called me out of the blue to tell me he was going away to rehab for help and has been addicted to opiates for a while. Emotional obviously, but I went and saw him and sent him off well on his way telling him how proud I was and how I knew he could do this. He was going away for 30 days and at the time planned on coming home. While there he called me every week and the conversations were very normal and it felt like I had my best friend back or would. Needless to say, for family weekend his mom and I flew 1500 miles to see him, thinking that him and I would get back to the couple that talked about marriage and kids and a future. While I was there he seemed fine, a little distant but I expected it, when I left he kissed me and told me he loved me. He had decided he was going to move into a sober house out there and I was so happy to hear he didn't want to come back when he knew he wasn't ready. He got out of rehab less than a week after we left and called me. At first he told me he needed to think what was best but still loved me. Then a few days later told me it was best if we weren't together right now but still wanted me in his life. Then less than a week after that told me to forget him. And then continued to tell me that he didn't want a relationship with me and won't and blah blah blah. Of course I was confused since 6 years was going down the drain with a snap of a finger so I went a little crazy trying to convince him to let me support him and be in his life. His most recent conversation with me was that he didn't think of me like that anymore and that he held on for the wrong reasons and didn't want to be with me ever again.

Although I am trying to accept this, I'm a little confused. Is this normal? I know for a fact if I could see him we would be in love again but him being 1500 miles away that isn't going to happen so I'm in the process of trying to accept that someone I planned my future with decided over the course of 30-40 days that 6 years was a mistake. Is it possible that his brain is just not completely healed yet or that he is confused with life right now? I asked if he met someone else he said no but I don't think he would tell me out of not wanting to hurt me. I'm so confused!!! I just wish I could understand but he doesn't give me much explanation besides feelings change and relationships end all the time
Linzey0706
 

Re: Boyfriend left me after rehab

Unread postby RAM » Mon Feb 01, 2016 7:02 pm

Not normal typically. Most rehabs, sober houses and programs such as AA and NA strongly urge the recovering person not to take drastic actions either way - start a new relationship or end an existing one. Unless the person with whom they have a relationship is a user as well - then the advice might be different.

Out of interest what rehab did he go to? Most well known, respected rehabs would have kept him at least 90 days in their program - maybe more then when they felt he is ready, referred him to a safe house to live for at least another 90...maybe more.

Sounds like he is confused still - good he is at least in a safe place.
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