I never imagined nearly 10 years ago....
Posted: Wed May 11, 2016 5:47 pm
I never imagined nearly 10 years ago that I would wonder every time I look at his face if he was high.
When I said "I do", I dreamed of a home and children together. I just never realized that I would forever be haunted and chased by his addiction.
It's a terrible thing to constantly wonder if the father of your children is high, or if he's trying to make arrangements to get cocaine to get high.
At this point it seems like I should almost expect it. He goes back and forth between trying to rationalize that he controls it and admitting there is a problem.
The part that never changes is his willingness to seek outside help. My dumb ass has attempted to explain in a compassionate way that it's a disease and compare it to cancer.
I say dumb ass cause I'm reasoning with a coke addict! WTF am I doing? Can I please get some responses? I don't know where to turn.
No one knows. Everyone thinks my husband is just a typical guy. They don't see him pacing back and forth in and out of the house all night long.
They don't know that he actually hides under a pillow and will not look at me! They've never seen him break the toilet from flushing straws from the kids sippy cups down it.
Please someone tell me am I right is this completely unfixable, beyond repair?
When I said "I do", I dreamed of a home and children together. I just never realized that I would forever be haunted and chased by his addiction.
It's a terrible thing to constantly wonder if the father of your children is high, or if he's trying to make arrangements to get cocaine to get high.
At this point it seems like I should almost expect it. He goes back and forth between trying to rationalize that he controls it and admitting there is a problem.
The part that never changes is his willingness to seek outside help. My dumb ass has attempted to explain in a compassionate way that it's a disease and compare it to cancer.
I say dumb ass cause I'm reasoning with a coke addict! WTF am I doing? Can I please get some responses? I don't know where to turn.
No one knows. Everyone thinks my husband is just a typical guy. They don't see him pacing back and forth in and out of the house all night long.
They don't know that he actually hides under a pillow and will not look at me! They've never seen him break the toilet from flushing straws from the kids sippy cups down it.
Please someone tell me am I right is this completely unfixable, beyond repair?