by Ryan's Sister » Tue Jun 03, 2008 7:56 pm
I watched my brother go through alcohol, then we coached, he stopped. I thought we were helping him.
Then percocet...to oxycontin, then again, we coached, he stopped, or I guess now he was just getting worse.
Judging by what nastiness we now realize as a heroin high, we assume Ryan has been shooting up about a year now.
He lies all the time, he's torturing the life out of my family, EVERY denial word is a LIE. Every lost dollar...everything.
He's stolen money, pawned antiques, we hide our money at bed time. He traded his car for drugs. His veins are a wreck...
I'm not sure if his dealer will kill him first, or his heroin.
So now you're probably wondering why my parent's haven't kicked him out... I told my Dad 6 months ago to quit paying his bills and kick him out. Unfortunately his response, I have no arguement for. Dad said, if he lives here, at least I know he made it home alive. If I kick him out, I have to spend every second wondering. I know there's a arguement for that, I don't have enough in me for that yet.
I know I'm not saying anything different than anyone else, it's just different when it's you. Here's the kicker, I work in Healthcare. My first autopsy was a 16 year old male heroin overdose in 1995. Not only do I know better, I know exactly what it will do to him, but not how to make him fix himself.
Ryan is a functioning addict (maybe a lot of people are), he goes to work, has a girlfriend (who has no idea) and is too old to be put into treatment. He is buying suboxone off the street and uses it for a few days, then runs back to herion. Everytime he starts the suboxone again, he tells me he's done with heroin, it's every 3-4 days. I want to be supportive, but I also want to tell him he's full of shit (sometimes I do, some times I'm just sick of argueing with a compulsive liar).
I'm on this webpage because there's no where for Ryan to go from here. I have offered to pay for inpatient treatment, out patient counceling, or lock him in my house for 2 weeks (board the windows/doors and slide food under it) not sure how illegal it is, but have truly, truly thought about it. He denies a problem, but admits to using. My Dad is afraid if we intervene too much Ryan will loose his job and his girlfriend will leave, causing Ryan to spiral out of control and kill himself or overdose and die.
So why am I really here, instead of tossing his shit out the door. We just learned our Mom has cancer all through out her body... her only wish... to see Ryan get better. I know Ryan needs to want this for himself and her cancer isn't going to be enough. In fact, I think her diagnosis might be why he's gotten so much worse lately.
Here's my question... what kind of out patient places can I research in the Bucks Co. area? Ryan has no $$ and no insurance. I can make payments somewhere, but don't know the options. He has a friend who just came out of inpatient rehab and is lost, probably dead. That has my parents concerned but, is it possible to commit a drug user against their will? Is that psychologically a bad idea? Our family isn't religious, Ryan wouldn't stay for a 12-step/ religion based program. Your thoughts, comment and ideas would be appreciated. I understand were slow to act and arn't ready for tough love yet, so I would appreciate not being attacked for that - I don't mind good ideas about it though.
Thanks,
Ryan's Sister