when is enough enough??
Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 9:34 pm
I am new to this and have come here with many frustrations so here it goes.....
My father dies of Pneumonia which was accompanied by HIV/AIDS which he contracted through a needle and/or the prostitute he lived with in a car in north philly......all my life i watched him come and go as much as he nodded out. "Jails, institutions or death!" is that what they say somewhere in a NA or AA mtg??? Well my father hit each one!! My mother on the other hand lucked out and at the age of 46 and finally got clean.....I am proud of her because I know that addiction has been a struggle for her since the age of 13. I am the oldest of 4....one sister and two brothers. We have seen too much...my sister and I pretty much fought to stay on track...went on to college...we were NEVER going down the road of our parents....my third sibling (the older brother) got addicted early....went on to jail and "Vwala" got it....he is a laborer, father and is growing in to becoming an admirable young man.....now finally my reason for this post...my baby brother...21 and is pursuing to be the best drug addict he can be....male prostitution, porn, theft, lies, jails, institutions.......what is left death??? We have 12 years between us..I always took care of him, tried to make his life more special when our parents were high, watched him and tried to protect him, let him live with me, gave him money and things that we never had as kids. Family members have extended there homes, finances, time, hearts to try to steer him in the right direction and at what cost....he robs us....not only of our material things but of our emotions. He holds us hostage with I will kill myself and i just want to die!!
My mother went to rehab for the last time 5 years ago and on the day she left I told my mother that I was moving past this part of my life and I meant it...I do not want to drag my new family through this like I was.
My sister still speaks with my brother even though he has hurt her the most....he has put her family in danger!
What can I do....I dont want to do anything I feel drained by him....but he still is crying that he is the baby and no one was ever there for him, we dont know what it is like to be him, we dont know what he is up against....everything is about him...and i know that that is what addiction does but i still cant help but think what can i do...
He just got bailed out of jail (by a friend...not us) went to a rehab center and is now looking for a halfway house....
My father dies of Pneumonia which was accompanied by HIV/AIDS which he contracted through a needle and/or the prostitute he lived with in a car in north philly......all my life i watched him come and go as much as he nodded out. "Jails, institutions or death!" is that what they say somewhere in a NA or AA mtg??? Well my father hit each one!! My mother on the other hand lucked out and at the age of 46 and finally got clean.....I am proud of her because I know that addiction has been a struggle for her since the age of 13. I am the oldest of 4....one sister and two brothers. We have seen too much...my sister and I pretty much fought to stay on track...went on to college...we were NEVER going down the road of our parents....my third sibling (the older brother) got addicted early....went on to jail and "Vwala" got it....he is a laborer, father and is growing in to becoming an admirable young man.....now finally my reason for this post...my baby brother...21 and is pursuing to be the best drug addict he can be....male prostitution, porn, theft, lies, jails, institutions.......what is left death??? We have 12 years between us..I always took care of him, tried to make his life more special when our parents were high, watched him and tried to protect him, let him live with me, gave him money and things that we never had as kids. Family members have extended there homes, finances, time, hearts to try to steer him in the right direction and at what cost....he robs us....not only of our material things but of our emotions. He holds us hostage with I will kill myself and i just want to die!!
My mother went to rehab for the last time 5 years ago and on the day she left I told my mother that I was moving past this part of my life and I meant it...I do not want to drag my new family through this like I was.
My sister still speaks with my brother even though he has hurt her the most....he has put her family in danger!
What can I do....I dont want to do anything I feel drained by him....but he still is crying that he is the baby and no one was ever there for him, we dont know what it is like to be him, we dont know what he is up against....everything is about him...and i know that that is what addiction does but i still cant help but think what can i do...
He just got bailed out of jail (by a friend...not us) went to a rehab center and is now looking for a halfway house....