by Guest2 » Wed Aug 11, 2010 5:24 pm
I disagree with the two above posts, especially the one by "Guest". You can't change your significant other, but there are ways to help, and this does NOT mean that your partner has betrayed your trust or failed you, or that you've done anything. I would monitor the situation closely and not overreact as that will cause this behavior to continue and possibly get worse. Constructive things you can do would to be open, honest and understanding. Don't condone the behavior but understand that alcoholics are human too and will occasionally make a mistake and "pick up" after some time. I would ensure that there is no alcohol in the house and not go anywhere that would be tempting to drink (parties, out to dinner.... depends on the individual what triggers them). A conversation at this time about what triggered the relapse would be a good first start. The first step for him is to make sure that he's getting the help he needs to quit again. If that means In or Outpatient rehab so be it. If that means he quits on his own, great! In either case I would suggest getting back in touch with "AA" and ensure that he's getting to enough meetings. At this stage, depending on the relapse, one meeting a day for 30-90 days is a good goal. Everyone is different. Getting a sponsor is a good idea, and working the program. I would also HIGHLY recommend that you offer to go to meetings with him as much as possible (the open meetings where non Alcoholics are allowed). You will be more than welcome. Al-Anon meetings are another option to learn more about what's going on with this disease. The more support you give him at this time is the best way to get through this. Remember to think of Alcoholism as a disease or allergy, just like anything else. Assuming that your boyfriend is a full blown alcoholic (and not someone who has had trouble with alcohol), he's allergic to alcohol, and this allergy causes him to keep drinking and get out of control. In either case, there was a reason he decided to put it down for some time. If he's a full alcoholic than he will have trouble again. If he was just a problem drinker, then proceed with caution because he could BECOME an alcoholic with using again. If meetings aren't your thing, I would by the "Alcoholics Anonymous" book from Borders and read the first two chapters at least and the one called "To Wives". The book is also free on the internet at aa.org.
Good luck.