I have ruined my future....

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I have ruined my future....

Unread postby Jamie » Thu Jun 09, 2011 2:19 pm

Hello...my name is Jamie...and I have a drinking problem. The problem isn't that I drink frequently, but that I drink in EXCESS. Last night was the worst night of my life. I drank waaaay too much while I was out with my fiance. He went to the bathroom and I decided to flash these guys to buy me a shot. I guess just to show myself that I could still do it, maybe, mostly I did it cuz I was drunk. We got home and got into a HUGE fight, cops were called, my son was crying hysterically at seven in the morning...My fiance broke off our engagement. Said he wants nothing to do with me unless I get help. He is right. I need help. I can not drink in moderation. I go over the top whenever I do drink. I need to get better...for my son...for me...for the man I am completely in love with. I don't know if my getting sober will get him back. I hope it does. But I need to get better for my own sake...and for the sake of my son...he deserves better than a drunken slob of a mother. My grandmother was an alcoholic and drank herself to death...my mother was killed by an underage drunk driver, but as far as I know she also had a drinking habit...I have already gotten a DUI and still haven't been able to pay off the fines and get my license back...and that was a year ago. I want to be better...I don't want to drink and do stupid things. I love and respect myself too much to keep acting like this. I want to go to a meeting, but I am afraid. :(
Jamie
 

Re: I have ruined my future....

Unread postby fatmuzkey » Sat Jun 11, 2011 12:00 am

- Alcoholism is progressive and will just get worse as will probably frequency. Our Text - the book Alcoholics Anonymous describes the alcoholic over and over but in one chapter says - the alcoholic cant quit drinking all together or once started has litle control. The physical side of the disease is once we ingest alcohol we crave it where as someone without the disease doesnt. So it doesnt really matter who you drink with, how much, how often , what race , religeon, economic background, etc - It matters what it does to you once you drink it. Do you have trouble stopping, do you do things drunk that you wouldnt do sober, every time you drink you might not get in trouble but when you are in trouble is it when you were drinking? AA is a 12 step program- the second part of the step "our lives became unmanageable." I believe that if any area of your life is effected from drinking you have a problem- financially ( legal fees, broken stuff,etc) legally, socially ( friends , family ( ur son and ex fiancee), job, sports, physically, etc)
Good news - what I thought was the worst thing ( ending up in AA ) turned out to be the best. The program works and you can live a good peacefull usefull life. I was driven to AA when I was 20 avoiding certain death or long term incarceration and through AA have lived a great fun life for 22+ years. The meetings are all over and youll grow to like them. But you need to get help yourself - once you reach out and start going there will be women to help you. But you must reach out. We cant do it alone or why would we need AA ? I hope you get to a meeting and find what I found and that was hope that I didnt have to keep living that way and that I could live a decent usefull life without continually screwing everything up. Good luck- the help is waiting for you.
fatmuzkey
 

Re: I have ruined my future....

Unread postby BitchySmurf » Fri Jun 24, 2011 11:23 pm

Jamie,
I so feel u. I drank too much, got handed something I was too
trashed to say no to, and was pretty much raped by 2 so called friends.
It is ruining my life. My man wants to kill them and write me off. I have
the moderation issue too. Write back if u wanna talk.
Kelli
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Re: I have ruined my future....

Unread postby sad » Tue Jun 28, 2011 4:01 pm

I am just as confused as you as to how to live sober. My life was going along as planned when an unexpected event changed all I had worked for. I was happy, but bitter and resentful at the same time. It was at this point that I chose to not deal with my emotions and used pills and alcohol to cope with my situation and appear as content as I'd been before. My plan was to just use this as a means of getting over my "bump in the road". Three years later, I can't function sober. I want a discreet way to achieve sobriety. As far as I know, no one is aware of my problem (husband, children, friends, etc...). I am embarrassed that I let this happen and am desperate for it to just go away. I know my story does not address your message or help you in anyway, but perhaps we can partner up for each other? I think I need someone I can be totally honest with as well as someone who can relate to how I feel. What are your thoughts about trying something like that?
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Re: I have ruined my future....

Unread postby guest » Wed Jun 29, 2011 7:44 am

Hey, I have ruined my life, whats going on now??
guest
 

Re: I have ruined my future....

Unread postby stilldoingit » Wed Jun 29, 2011 8:04 am

Hey, I have ruined my future what are you up to now ?
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Re: I have ruined my future....

Unread postby FOBWHONESTY » Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:35 am

Ruined you future? Definately not. Your future hasn't even been written yet. So, How can you ruin something that has not yet occured? The only things we ruin, whne we stop drinking are 1) our Drinking, 2) Our Past, 3) Any hopes of returning to a place we thought were" Good Times". Live for Today, Live not in the past, remember where we came from and taht today is the present.
FOBWHONESTY
 

Re: I have ruined my future....

Unread postby SueI » Fri Jul 15, 2011 4:13 pm

Look for a women's meeting. I think you'll be surprised. It looks like a PTA, but I've shared and heard more honesty there than you can imagine. Many of us came into AA because we were afraid for our children. Most of us stay because we have found a way of life and a circle of friends that I never had before. The hardest part is admitting that you have a problem. After that, I was amazed at how simple the program is. Not always easy, but life isn't easy. Go to meetings, listen, don't drink and keep coming back. The only way you could "ruin your future is to keep going the way you have been. It will not get better by itself. Sue
SueI
 

Re: I have ruined my future....

Unread postby actionmike » Thu Jul 21, 2011 4:37 pm

I hear exactly what you are saying. I used to think an alcoholic was someone on skid row or no job, no money etc...I found out how little I knew. I was a daily drinker and then it changed to once or twice a week. Sometime I would drink to excess and other times not. However the result was the same. Trouble and a low self esteem. What I learned from that is that it had nothing to do with the volume I drank or the frequency that I drank. Same results. I found a meeting local to me and there were people there who drank just like me.I miraculously sit here today with 4 months sober. It is nothing less than a miracle. What is also weird is my life is sooooo busy I don't know how I had time to drink.
actionmike
 

Re: I have ruined my future....

Unread postby alip123 » Sat Oct 15, 2011 3:31 pm

Jamie, Your future is not ruined although I now you feel it is. I have been a recovering alcohoic for over 2 yrs and have my ups and downs but overall, sobriety is the answer to my good fortune. I thought my life was over because of that stupid bottle that was so small compared to me, yet so big overall. I was fortunate enough to have support from family and friend and if you need the same - you know where to come! You are on the right track so keep on keepin' on and if you need to chat - feel free to email me at any time WildAngel021@aol.com - I know where u are and where you are heading if you don't continue to seek that help that you so desperately need!


Last bumped by Anonymous on Sat Oct 15, 2011 3:31 pm.
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