I am three weeks into recovery from Tramadol addiction

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I am three weeks into recovery from Tramadol addiction

Unread postby hermancj » Wed Aug 10, 2011 5:58 pm

I need help or actually support. I am three weeks into recovery from Tramadol addiction. I have so much crap to clean up with my family and our finances. My husband thinks I should pull a magic want out and make it all go away and that is what got me here to begin with. He insults me in front of my kids, screams at me like a dog, tells me that the drugs are my problem rather I am a psychiatric mess. I am seeing a therapist once a week and it helps but everynight I have been crying because I can't move fast enough. He keeps going back into the past. I have accepted responsibility for everything but I can't keep living in the past I have to move forward in order to recover. Help me I am feeling so helpless!!!!!
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Re: I am three weeks into recovery from Tramadol addiction

Unread postby BklynChik » Wed Aug 10, 2011 8:20 pm

I'm an alcoholic so I can only support you as a fellow addict and not as someone who has experience with Tramadol.

I know it must be very hard to not have your husband's support or understanding during this time. WWithout knowing the history of your relationship, I'll share some thoughts but please keep in mind that I don't have the full context.

I think it can be hard for our families to trust that we are changing. Our world is so focused on instant gratification and quick fixes. The way I try to think about it is that as long as I drank and hurt my family, that's how long it may take to repair. Recovery takes a lifetime I'm told. It may take some time for your husband to understand that.

I think it's important for you to get support outside for now in your therapist, a sponsor and other women in the fellowship. You have to put your sobriety first if you want to succeed.

At some point, maybe your husband will be willing to go to Al-Anon. But for now, just focus on you, and your recovery. Get to a meeting tomorrow. Keep going back. Don't pick up for just today. And then repeat the same tomorrow. Take it one day at a time. Try not to be hard on yourself.

And most importantly, remember that this too shall pass.

Hope this helps!
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Re: I am three weeks into recovery from Tramadol addiction

Unread postby bets » Sun Aug 14, 2011 9:12 am

It's sad when husbands are not supportive, mine was the same way. He thinks everything should be instantly fixed, and that you are weak because you're having a problem. Sounds like you're in a mess. From my experience, stop wishing and hoping for his support and realize that he can't help you (and often makes things worse) . He's probably "drowning" too, with his own stuff. He's mad and probably scared that you're not doing well.

Wouldn't it be nice if husbands would just put their arms around us, offer us any help they can and make it all better (like before we were married). Forget it. My husband was terrible at that stuff. He would insult me and be kind of mean. He can't help it, that's him. he's a Man's MAN. You remember those John Wayne movies where the cowboy or army guy is weak and freaking out? John Wayne slaps him and calls him "yellow" and tells him to pull himself up by his bootstraps. The next scene the guy is back on his horse, or getting shot at on the battlefield, feeling a new surge of confidence. Works for John Wayne,, probably our husbands wonder why it isn't working for them with us.
Your husband is probably great at other things. let him know that you appreciate those things.

Now to the important part.....YOU. The stronger you get, the better things will get. His crap might not worry you so much, plus there will probably be less crap. The therapist will be helpful , for sure. Eventually you will be self assured and proud of yourself. It will be easier to deal with others and yourself when you gain self-respect. You already have started working on a huge addiction problem..You GO, girlfriend.! I'm very impressed! I'm sitting here hungover, wishing and vowing that I'll never drink again ( for the 1000th time) Be proud of yourself. Really Feel what PRIDE feels like. One little step at a time. You'll get there.
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Re: I am three weeks into recovery from Tramadol addiction

Unread postby abclimo » Fri Aug 19, 2011 4:04 pm

Hi. I read your post and I can really relate to where you are at in your recovery. I too just celebrated my 3 week clean mark from a serious dilaudid addiction. I have tried out 5 different NA meetings so far and have found 3 that I really like and where the people relate to me and I can relate to the people and they make you feel very welcome. You should definitely find some NA meetings in your area and start going, if not with your husband, than at least by yourself, they help me tremendously. Not all meetings are the same, so if you don't like the first one or two, don't give up, keep trying. It's a huge inspiration when you go to a meeting and you see people that have been clean long term. They talk about the problems they had with their family in the beginning, how they were able to stay clean so long, etc. Also, you can build a network of phone numbers of people to call BEFORE you do something stupid like pick up and use again. Please don't take this as insulting, but your husband needs to grow up and attend a meeting or two so he can see how other addicts get on with their lives. There is a website for NA and it lists local meetings by county, time, and location. It also says whether they are opened or closed. At my Tuesday night meeting, there was a newer guy there, and one of his friends and his brother attended. There is another young fellow who comes with the support of his girlfriend. I agree with bets that you need to do this for you....it's hard to stay clean when someone is being unkind to you, you view it as an "excuse" to use. Goodness knows, I had enough of those excuses during my addiction. If you need someone to talk to, you can email me and I'd be happy to answer you back with any questions you might have that I can answer, or I'll point you in the right direction if I don't know. You definitely need to do this for you and for your kids, mine were and are my biggest inspiration and reason to stay clean. I'll keep good thoughts and prayers for you and hope you find your way....
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