Addicted step-daughter

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Addicted step-daughter

Unread postby sfinney61 » Fri Jan 20, 2012 8:25 pm

My 35 year old stepdaughter is extremely addicted to alcohol. She will do just about anything to get it. She did 8 months at Teen Challenge, but that only helped for a short while. She's been fired from several jobs. Nothing seems to work. She is college educated and a very attractive young lady. Unfortunately, she has no money and we're not much better off. (I'm two months late with my mortgage). So any kind of free or charitable help would be deeply appreciated. What can we do?
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Re: Addicted step-daughter

Unread postby BklynChik » Sun Feb 05, 2012 12:17 pm

I'm hoping you're still around, I didn't see a reply to this so I wanted to give you my opinion...

Unfortunately, you can't stop her drinking just like you can't make her drink. She has to come to her own bottom and decide she needs and wants to change. The only thing possible would be an intervention, but again unless she's ready no amount of time in detox will help. The only person you can definitely help is you.

I would suggest looking into Al-Anon. I'm not sure if you're familiar with it, but it's for those whose lives are affected by alcoholics. There you can find support and strength from others who are going through similar situations as you and your family are. Go to al-anon.org and you'll be able to find a meeting and find out more about the program.

Hope this helps!
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Re: Addicted step-daughter

Unread postby abclimo » Sat Feb 11, 2012 10:28 am

Hi and welcome! Thanks for posting. I agree with Bklynchik that unless your daughter is ready to do this, it's fruitless to "make" her do this. Drug addiction/Alcohol addiction used to be and still does sometimes carry an image of people who are dirty and disease ridden, who are unintelligent and who are homeless. I suppose that is true in some instances. For the most part, in current day statistics, it is more middle class people who are carrying the biggest addictions. Currently, the largest percentage of addiction is to prescription pain medicine. I know many people who are in recovery, and if you met them outside of a meeting, you would never guess they were addicts. They are very attractive, educated people. The average addict goes into detox 7 times before they finally want to change. All that being said, if your daughter is ready on her own to change, you can find help for her at a detox facility, and meetings are very important. Following the 12 steps is necessary to remain clean/sober and for our recovery. Unfortunately, this is a serious addiction and sometimes people do die before they admit they have a problem. We all have to find our own rock bottom before we are ready to change and everyone's rock bottom is different. If she is ready to change and she contacts a detox facility, even if she has no insurance and no money, they will help her. They can help her apply for funding that would cover her detox and rehab and also covers outpatient therapies. For yourselves, you do want to look into meetings and support systems. I know how families want to help their children and sometimes by doing that, they are allowed to be "sick" longer. It's important to learn what to do so she has to make a decision on whether she is ready to change or not. Prayers for you and your family for strength!
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Re: Addicted step-daughter

Unread postby Guest » Thu Feb 16, 2012 6:13 pm

I am in need of some help with my 19 yrs old daughter. She denies she has a problem. She drinks, smokes, and on occasion (that's how she puts it) uses other drugs. I am concerned for her safety and sanity. I have asked her to go with me to a meeting which she refuses to attend because she says she does not have a problem. I am at my wits end. I have a small child in the home which worries me. What can I do? :( :?
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Re: Addicted step-daughter

Unread postby latinaladyluv » Tue Mar 13, 2012 12:37 pm

I have been online for several days now. I am trying to find an al-anon meeting in my area (zip code 18702). I am trying to find one because I am stressing. I am in need of some help with my 19 yrs old daughter. She denies she has a problem. She drinks, smokes, and on occasion (that's how she puts it) uses other drugs. I am concerned for her safety and sanity. I have asked her to go with me to a meeting which she refuses to attend because she says she does not have a problem. I am at my wits end. I have a small child in the home which worries me. What can I do?
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Re: Addicted step-daughter

Unread postby abclimo » Sun Apr 22, 2012 5:16 pm

Hi and welcome! I hope you have been able to find an al-anon meeting. If not, you can also attend an NA meeting as long as it doesn't say the meeting is a "closed" meeting. A closed meeting means that it is for those with the problem of addiction only. Of the meetings I attend, there are several people who attend regularly who are brothers/sisters/friends of one with the disease of addiction. You can find a complete listing of those in the main website under meetings. Now for the more difficult part. If your daughter does not think she has a problem and she doesn't want to attend the meetings, forcing her to go probably won't be beneficial. Looking back, my husband had been telling me that I had a problem and I had been denying that I had a problem. Finally I looked at things and realized that I did have a problem and I decided I need help and didn't want to be on that roller coaster ride anymore. I know some families use an interventional tactic that they are given the choice of going to rehab or they have to leave your home. Some feel that forces the addict to look at what is most important to them. It can also backfire because they leave your home and they continue to make worse choices. Either way its difficult and it's more difficult to stick to what we decide. Meetings for you can be a great thing, because you'll learn how to deal with things and you'll also learn that it is not your fault. I will say a prayer for you that things work out for you and your family. Please keep posting here because we do care how you are. Hugs!


Last bumped by Anonymous on Sun Apr 22, 2012 5:16 pm.
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