Been to 3 meetings. Now what?

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Been to 3 meetings. Now what?

Unread postby delcomark » Sat Feb 04, 2012 10:00 am

In the last 2 weeks I been to 3 meetings. Not sure what to do now. Do I get a sponsor now? I usually just get up and leave when the meetings over. Not sure what I should do now...
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Re: Been to 3 meetings. Now what?

Unread postby abclimo » Sat Feb 04, 2012 11:57 am

Delcomark: Hi! That's the big question that everyone asks and that I had myself. The answer for me was, "Is there one person that I feel that I could be totally open and honest with and willing to hear what they were saying"? When I was able to answer that with a person's name, I knew that person could be my sponsor. It's difficult to put so much into trusting someone and letting them help us. I wasn't able to answer that question until several months into recovery. Because you are male, you need a male sponsor. Next meeting, stick around a little after the meeting and let some people approach you, and if it's a warm and caring meeting, they will. That's how I did it anyway. They also have pamphlets at some of the meetings that can give you some guidance in choosing a sponsor and on other important topics. There is also the big book that is so inspirational. Inspiration is important, especially when we are questioning so much that we have going on inside. It's so difficult in the beginning when we make the decision that we don't want to continue on in the way that we have been. There's so many feelings and emotions that we have to deal with. A lot of addicts self medicate to help with the intensity of the feelings and emotions and when you start to feel them without that "something" to take the edge off, it can feel like you ran into a brick wall at top speed and can be overwhelming. If you start to feel overwhelmed, break the day down into smaller increments, like a few hours, an hour, or 15 minutes. For me hearing that I could never, ever, etc was so profound that I was totally overwhelmed. You also need to keep telling yourself that you can do it and that you are worth it. We suffer from no self confidence and so many doubts in ourselves as well. Please come back and post and let us all help you through this. Hugs!
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Re: Been to 3 meetings. Now what?

Unread postby delcomark » Sun Feb 05, 2012 7:58 am

Thanks abclimo. I 'll be going to another meeting tomorrow afternoon. I think I'll stick around after the meeting and talk about getting a sponsor.
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Re: Been to 3 meetings. Now what?

Unread postby BklynChik » Sun Feb 05, 2012 12:08 pm

Hi and welcome!

The advice you received regarding a sponsor is sound, I wanted to add on if I may. I would suggest sharing in a meeting that you are looking for a sponsor. That's how I found mine. And it's ironic because she's not one I would have "picked" per se, but she is perfect for me--she shares a lot of similar life experiences and is very similar to me, so helps keep me honest. :D

If I may also suggest another thing regarding meetings--try to get to more. Many suggest doing 90 meetings in 90 days. I truly believe it makes a difference. We gave much more time to our addictions, so going full force into your recovery is a great foundation for success IMHO.

Hope this helps!
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Re: Been to 3 meetings. Now what?

Unread postby delcomark » Wed Feb 08, 2012 2:10 pm

Been to 4 meetings now. I started reading the "Big Book". I Havnt had a drink since Friday. I had 2 beers on Friday and hated myself for it. So its been 5 days now since my last drink. Im afraid to leave the house though. I just feel like I could very easily end up in a bar. Old habits are hard to break. But Im determined to get past this difficult time and just be sober.
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Re: Been to 3 meetings. Now what?

Unread postby delcomark » Sat Feb 11, 2012 5:41 am

Its saturday morning and I made it past my first friday night without a drink in a long time. If I get through today I will have 8 days sober. Thats pretty good for me. The longest I've gone in a year. Had a rough time last night but I worked through it.
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Re: Been to 3 meetings. Now what?

Unread postby abclimo » Sat Feb 11, 2012 10:53 am

Mark: Hope you don't mind me callling you Mark. I am so excited for you!!!! WOOO HOOOO! I know that for so many people weekends are the absolute worst, starting with Friday nights. It's a feeling that we have worked hard all week and we deserve to kick back a little and party it up that gets us into trouble. Just keep telling yourself that you can do this and you'll ace it. When you feel temptations, call someone on your phone lists or come post here and tell us your story, it's very helpful. If things get really rough, you can try to break it down into smaller increments, like I won't have a drink for 3 hours, or an hour, or whatever. You can also try distracting yourself, like go for a walk, go to the mall, find something or anything to do that surrounds you with people and isn't near an area where you will be tempted. Go to the library. Sometimes, you have to get really creative on how to keep yourself from doing what you know you really don't want to do. Tomorrow morning, I know we'll see a post from you that you made it through today and I'll be even more excited for you. We can all do this together. Hugs!
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Re: Been to 3 meetings. Now what?

Unread postby delcomark » Sun Feb 12, 2012 11:27 am

Thanks abclimo. And no I dont mind if you call me Mark. Its Sunday. If I make it till the end of the day it will be the first time Ive gone an entire weekend without a drop of alcohol in a long time. Feeling pretty good today. Gonna try to make a meeting this evening.
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Re: Been to 3 meetings. Now what?

Unread postby abclimo » Mon Feb 13, 2012 4:28 pm

Mark: Congrats again on doing so well. Weekends are always so difficult! Just keep tellling yourself that you can do this and that you are worth it. When you're struggling, come here and post and let someone help you through it. The journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step and you've taken that first step, just keep putting one foot in front of the other!
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Re: Been to 3 meetings. Now what?

Unread postby delcomark » Wed Feb 15, 2012 8:29 am

Been having a tough time the last couple of days but im still going. I think im going through withdraws. I keep reminding myself that the only drink I need to avoid today is the first one.
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Re: Been to 3 meetings. Now what?

Unread postby giniu » Wed Feb 15, 2012 3:25 pm

the big book is too much for me ... easier & understandable reading is 12 steps/traditions. i'm still having a hard time, but the "reading" is easier :)
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Re: Been to 3 meetings. Now what?

Unread postby delcomark » Thu Feb 16, 2012 6:34 am

I dont have the 12 step book yet. But I just started reading the book called "Living Sober". Its easy to understand and very helpful in dealing with situations that may cause a person to relapse.
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Re: Been to 3 meetings. Now what?

Unread postby delcomark » Sat Feb 18, 2012 6:39 am

Is there anything wrong with drinking nonalcoholic beer such as odouls?
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Re: Been to 3 meetings. Now what?

Unread postby First timer » Mon Apr 23, 2012 3:37 am

Mark you are doing great just don't tempt yourself with the fake stuff. Its a waste of time go to a meeting anytime you start thinking about drinking. My first sponsor told me to be at meeting like I drank. 7 days a week, reach out and talk at the meeting so others can get to know you. By talking you will be doing two things, first helping yourself get some of that stinkin thinkin out. And secondly, letting the people in the rooms help you and inturn help them get another day. This is all about getting thru today without a drink. Make friends in the rooms at the meetings and try to do things with these people. After a while you will have a group of friends to talk to when you need to. These are things I did when I started. I have been sober for almost 25 years and this is my first time. Anything is possible just give this a chance. Your worth it. And thanks for helping me, remembering all the things I went through in the beginning reminds me I have to help others. Good Luck!


Last bumped by Anonymous on Mon Apr 23, 2012 3:37 am.
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