wife after rehab

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wife after rehab

Unread postby bigjack » Thu Feb 09, 2012 1:16 pm

Hello all,
My wife is half way through a 30 day treatment program for alcohol. It seems that most of what I read is geared towards the man/husband being the alcoholic.
I was wondering if anyone can shed some light on what to expect....Obviously I should "expect" nothing....but are there any words of wisdom? I am a recovering drug addict (oct 27th 14 years) and I have had a few stints in rehab myself.....Unfortunately, I dont remember what I was like or how I treated her when I got home. I have a tendency to read too much and that leads me to believe my marriage will not survive her recovery.
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Re: wife after rehab

Unread postby giniu » Thu Feb 09, 2012 1:43 pm

to me there is no "half way thru rehab". it's a continuous process as you should know. just be there for her & yourself. i firmly believe you both got there together. you need to talk. my husband is trying his best to help me thru this whole process. it's so extremely hard, that it really scares both of us. i'm not really giving "words of wisdom", but words for all of us to try to live by. we're all trying ... good luck . just remember, i'm extremely grateful that my husband is there for me, NO MATTER WHAT. so just be there. good luck :|
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Re: wife after rehab

Unread postby abclimo » Sat Feb 11, 2012 10:46 am

Hi and thanks for your post. It's a question that I am sure so many people wonder about. Since you have been through this yourself, you know that when you first come home, it's pretty difficult. I can tell you that I thought I was going to have to divorce my husband when I got home from rehab because he was making me crazy with accusations that I was back to using and he was so full of anger towards me. In retrospect, our relationship didn't get to that point overnight and it can't return to "normal" overnight either. It takes a lot of work and time from both of you to get it back to how it was. Your marriage does not have to fail, if you both want it to succeed. When I was in rehab, I was in a mixed facility where it was men and women with alcohol and drug addictions. She should know that you are there for her and are willing to be supportive of her. But you do have to stand tough and not enable her. I know in the beginning when I first came home, my emotions were all over the place. You have to figure that she has been drinking for some time and then you take that away from her body and her complete chemical makeup will be sent into a tail spin, even some time later. I was told by the doctor in rehab that depending on what you are using and to what extent, you can expect some detoxing for up to several years after you get clean. To me, it felt like really bad PMS somedays, moods all over the place, crying for no reason, etc. I hated that moodiness and was glad when it became less and less frequent. You may want to find an Al-Anon meeting and attend it, or you can also attend meetings with her as far as AA goes if you are both comfortable with that. Sometimes hearing what people have gone through is helpful. Either way, it's only you and your wife who have to make decisions on how to proceed and you have to play it partially by ear. You have to remind her somedays that she can do this and that you're there to help her. Good luck on this and please let us know how things go. Hugs!
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