12 steps. I dont understand all of them.

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12 steps. I dont understand all of them.

Unread postby delcomark » Sat Feb 18, 2012 7:01 am

I been to about 6 or 7 meeting now. Havnt had a drink in 15 days. I still havnt got a sponsor yet. This is all still very new to me. Been reading the Big Book and another book called " LIving Sober". My question is I that I dont understand step 4 and could someone explain it to me? Step 4: "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves".
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Re: 12 steps. I dont understand all of them.

Unread postby daved7630 » Sun Feb 19, 2012 7:01 pm

When I did my fourth step, my sponser had me make a list of my resentments toward others and a list of people I had harmed. I went over it with him (step 5) and this became the beginning of my 8th step. Hope this helps.
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Re: 12 steps. I dont understand all of them.

Unread postby kellyjb319 » Sat Mar 10, 2012 1:20 pm

I didn't understand the Big Book either the first time I looked at it. After rehab I found a sponsor who had been through the 12 steps and she read with me every week and we discussed each chapter. When you read "How it works" your sponsor can show you how each step is broken down very simply. If you do them in order, it is easier to "digest" . Step 3 is a big one because you are surrendering to your higher power. Now your not alone. Each day you surrender your will to "Him" and you can get through, one day at a time. instead of trying to quit forever. Forever is terrifying. One day I can handle, lol. Your sponsor can explain how to make your lists for step 4. a list of resentments, fear, sex inventory, how it affected you and what your part was. This really helped me see things differently and it does pave the way for your list of people you have harmed in step 8. Going in order is important though. Sharing these secrets and being honest with someone-step 5-(like your sponsor), being ready to have God remove your character defects- step 6-(which you saw in step 4) and asking Him to remove them-step 7-, prepares you to make that list of people-step8- to make amends to in step 9. It takes time, prayer, and willingness. You will get there. It's a road to recovery, and your already on it! Great job with 15 days!!It gets easier!

Re: 12 steps. I dont understand all of them.

Unread postby abclimo » Wed Mar 21, 2012 12:53 pm

Mark: Hi and glad to see you're still posting here. The steps can be as overwhelming as saying you have to quit forever. Step four can mean different things to different people. For me it was a matter of sitting down and making a "pros and cons" list. When I thought about writing the list, I was overwhelmed and it took some time to compile it. I also thought that I wouldn't have anything to write on the "pros/good" side, but I was mistaken. I was also surprised that the "cons/bad" side wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. The biggest part of it is being completely honest and that's difficult sometimes. For me, it was putting things on paper that I did and that I didn't think were affecting others at the time, but after being clean and sober and writing the list, I realized just how everything did impact other people. When you get a sponsor, they'll be able to guide you through the steps and explain everything to you. That's why it's important to get a sponsor that you are comfortable with and are able to be completely honest with, even though it's painful to admit some of the wrongs we did. I'm glad to see that you are still living the clean/sober life and I know that you'll be able to continue!
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