Where to begin

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Where to begin

Unread postby Momof4 » Thu Aug 30, 2012 8:12 am

I am a 31 year old female. Alcoholism seems to be rampant on my mothers side and well, here I am. Last night took a lot for me to tell my fiance to find an AA near us. But I found this group. I have been drinking "hardcore" since I was 25. I stopped when I became pregnant with my last son in 2008 but once I had him I picked the bottle back up. I don't drink from the time i wake up till i pass out anymore, but I can't put the bottle down once I start. I'm due to get married near the end of this year but I think he's having second thoughts because of my drinking. And last night after vomiting, I need help. I have lost a grandmother to throat and tongue cancer from excessive drinking, a grandfather and recently 2 uncles. When I started drinking heavy I was getting off of drugs so basically, all I did was replace an addiction. I'm not stupid I know what I did but THIS needs to stop. I want to live and I don't want my kids to see this from their mother. How can I ever help them if I can't even help myself.
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Re: Where to begin

Unread postby Momof4 » Thu Aug 30, 2012 9:41 am

a little more about what I'm doing. When I start drinking I'm "funny" and "goofy". I talk a lot more...but then, I cross that invisible line and become very confrontational over NOTHING. I can FEEL my liver hurt at times. I'm scared and this is all so hard for me to admit. I drink to drink. I drink to fill a hole that I don't even know what it is anymore. I'm not really sure if I'm just rambling here. I don't know if I'm getting this out so it's understandable but I'm sure you all understand.When I wake up in the morning I look to see how much vodka I have left. When it gets to 1/4 I get frustrated. Last night I had half a bottle left. Once I got sick I dumped it out, along with a full bottle of tequila. My fiance was mad (btw he doesn't drink), but the stuff isn't cheap. But then it's like he realised "something"....I'm not sure what but, he just called me from work and we talked for 10 minutes and he's behind me 100%. I just wish someone here would tell me what to do!!!! My one deceased uncle had seizures when he tried to stop. He ended up giving in and drank himself to death along with having stomach cancer and throat cancer. I have so many things going against me. I just want to be healthy. What can you do when you start going through withdrawl????
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Re: Where to begin

Unread postby robertoZ » Sat Sep 01, 2012 11:29 pm

See your doctor and ask how to stop. Alcohol withdraw can kill you. You may need hospital and/or rehab. Then go to AA meetings. They are everywhere. I can show you if you like.
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Re: Where to begin

Unread postby Guest » Sun Sep 02, 2012 11:13 am

Hey Girl, I've went through the same thing. You prob should go to a rehab or detox tho. Detoxing from alcohol is the worst withdrawl and can kill you, they generally put you on meds to detox, its rough but it doable. After that you should try an outpatiet or inpatient rehab inpatient can be anywhere from 14days to 6 months depending where you go, average is 28 days. If you can't because of work and suck you can generally so and outpatient program at night. This will give you th foundations you need. After that you should do 90 meetings and 90 days. find a sponsor, a Home group, and people you can talk to and call everyday. It may take a while to get into rehab so do the best you can and start going to meetings right aways, they will save and change your life. Most importantly, pray for the willingness to stop drinking. Hope this helps
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Re: Where to begin

Unread postby jksmth1106 » Thu Sep 20, 2012 12:04 pm

I am a 46 year old female. I feel like you just wrote my story when you said you can't stop once you start. I went to rehab at the end of this past November--one of the hardest things I ever did but it was worth it. What drove me to rehab was when I made drunk phone calls to cousins and told them what I thought of them (as if I was perfect). I checked into rehab 2 days later (after I got work responsibilites straightened out). Afterwards I realized it was a cry for help. The previous writer is correct---alcohol withdrawal can kill you. You need help to get sober. My husband is an alcoholic also. When he would try to stop he had seizures and let me tell you, it is extremely scary. You don't say whether you can go to rehab but you really need to. I finally felt like I wasn't alone. My thoughts and feelings were echoed by so many others in rehab. Just know there are people out there willing to help. If you can't get into rehab, please go to meetings. Besides AA, there are women's groups also.


Last bumped by Anonymous on Thu Sep 20, 2012 12:04 pm.
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