scared to death
Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2014 7:02 pm
I am one day sober and I am scared to death. It seems like a cycle, I stop drinking for a short period of time and then my twisted mind says...your not really an alcoholic you can control your drinking. I tell myself I just wont drink hard liquor this time and just stick to wine. We all know it never works out like that. I am ruining my life and I know it. When I would quit drinking life just seemed so boring. I dont work at the time and have no hobbies and never have. So back to drinking and you think life isnt boring anymore but then all the problems start again and its always worst and worst every single time. I am going to go back to AA and look into churches with programs for recovery. I want this so bad. I know once I am sober a month or so I cannot let boring tell me to go back to drinking. I am determined to do this for myself and my family. My marriage might be over and I have kids that wont talk to me but I know with God's help I will get thru this and be better off then before. Nothing is worst then living this way. I have not had any friends in forver and I hope thru AA I can find some. We all can do this!!