by yosemite610 » Sat Dec 20, 2008 8:06 am
I think sharing in meetings is about honesty. Opening yourself up, allowing others to see you. When I was in my addiction I used to go to a party and hang near the edge, looking in the 'window' so to speak, until I felt I had a good idea of how I should represent myself once 'inside'. That was 'posing'. it wasn't the real me. I didn't know who the real me was, I was so out of touch with my feelings/etc.
Regardless, it was terrifying at first to share. Someone suggested closing my eyes! I tried it and it helped... I also tried sitting way up front (in meetings where there are 'rows') so that when I shared, I could only see a few faces... That really helped.
Wish I had a better way of describing this, but I think a F*CK-IT kind of attitude helps when trying to share. I'll prep myself a little with thoughts like "Don't care what they think of m...", "Screw 'em if they don't like what I say...", "If they don't like what I say, I wouldn't want to hang around them after the meeting anyway..." etc.
If you're being honest when you share, people can tell. And it demands respect (not like awe, more like empathy). I still feel some anxiety when sharing, but I think it's a 'tissue-paper fear'; One of those fears that once you have stood up to it you realize it's pretty groundless, that the 'dangers' are bull$hit (projected by my own fears of rejection, not being accepted, etc.).
I do think sharing is essential to recovery, learning about yourself, letting others learn about you, letting others get to know you (all scary stuff to me/us).
Give it a shot. I've got your back.
*grin*