am i here or not

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am i here or not

Unread postby jpk1968 » Wed Jul 08, 2009 5:12 am

Here i sit wondering if i am doing this for me or because i am supposed to. i have been to rock bottom before (jail homeless) and i keep fucking up . I am doing things differently i think . i got a home group a sponsor and am making 2 meetings a day. problem is i feel like shit after 34 day all i hear is how great everyone feels NOT ME ????? i share almost every meeting and i feel better for a bit but it seems to be short lived. the road back seems so long . I sleep about four hours a night my mind RRRRAAAACCCCCEEEESSSSS all day all night 24 hrs a day. i generallly am hating life right now what can i do????? :? :? :? :?
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Re: am i here or not

Unread postby JenniBabi097 » Thu Jun 09, 2011 9:13 am

Heyy, I know exactly how you feel it sucks!! The only thing you really can do is take it day by day and do what you can to know that it will stop but thats not gonna do much. I didnt do shit for over two weeks but go to probation I had no energy or urge to, I didnt even go to meetings and was still talking to old friends who always had to call and ask me to get them shit and I did for like two weeks and are any of them around now, no but I dont want them around and alot of them were long time friends so I felt completly alone still do sometimes but its gotten alot better, It just takes time and work. I know none of that prob helps now at least it never did for me I would think there person was a asshole and no Idea how I felt,... How long have u been clean? for me its 2 and a half months and its still a struggle at times... well Ima stop going on and on. I hope you are feeling a lil better and doing the best ya can be!! Good luck with everything!! Keep your head up!!!
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