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relapse again

Unread postPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 3:16 am
by jpk1968
do i really want this i know i need this in order to stay alive , i made a conscious decsion to say **** it on friday and tried to shot coke (i fucking missed and didn't get high)then saturday i said it all over again. i slept the best i had since getting clean after my relapse but since yesterday it has been no sleep again. here i sit posting another topic . my wife feels i should feel guilty bu guess what i don't feel any thing but the desire to share my dirty laundry . i will go to meeting today to get it off my chest and try starting over more honestly any more advice would be welcome. i really hate this shit people ie sponsor i think gave me bad advice he told me to stay home and think about what i did well all i did was wanna use more and i drank this time and i reallly do not care at all anymore. all these people act like they never relapsed before. well thats bullsht and i dont think some of these people shouldn't act like they are better than anyone else especially someone that just relapsed

Re: relapse again

Unread postPosted: Tue Jul 14, 2009 12:31 pm
by Bublance
I relapsed for the first time this past Saturday. I figure I can only start again and try to do something different. Obviously meetings and speaking to other recovering addicts was not enough. I have to think and figure out what to do differently. This may be the jarring experience that we both need to make it.