I need some direction

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I need some direction

Unread postby lori13marc » Thu Jun 17, 2010 8:56 am

Hi everyone, my name is Lori and I am new to this.I am 36 years old and I feel I need to stop drinking.I do not drink daily, I am a social drinker, usually on weekends with friends,My problem is I drink too much.I have received 2 DWI's and it really is effecting my relationship with my boyfriend who does not drink.I am one of those drinkers who usually ends up starting an argument.I know he is fed up and i am scared of losing him.I have made some really bad decisions while drinking and I want it to stop.It is so hard because I guess you could say thats what my friends and family do.It is around me all the time.I will take any input you have for me.Should I join AA meetings? Im going to make an appointment to see a counselor, in hopes to get on the right track. Thank You
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Re: I need some direction

Unread postby xoxoMad » Thu Jun 17, 2010 12:12 pm

Hi Lori,
My Name is Michel. I am also new to AA and a newbie on here. I was also and kinda in the same boat with the drinking. I didn't know my limit and all of my family and friends drink. I Mostly drank because unlike you I was in a abusive marriage for 18 years. At First, I didn't drink everyday but I will drink all weekend long... Starting Friday night to Sunday and not the small bottle of wine. I had to buy the magnum size. Then, wine wasn't enough I had to move to something stronger, so I moved to Vodka. I started adding Wednesday and Thursday very soon. And the beginning of this year (2010) I added every day. I drank every day Monday through Sunday until I felt no more pain from my husbands mental or physical abuse.

The reason I went to AA is because I hated that I needed to drink and that I use alcohol as a MASK and medication to hide that I am hurting inside. I used alcohol to hide that I hated myself, my marriage and my LIFE. I was so insecure. I couldn't believe that I can't just have one glass of wine or two anymore.

Go to AA, it will help. I went to two meetings and it already has changed me inside as a person. The people there are so warm and loving. At AA you will get a new family and they will love you without knowing you. There are so many like you and just like me. But, YOU are the one that has to want to get help. And you are the one that reached out on this site, and that my friend is the first step to recovery.

Good luck and God Bless.

**I have been sober for two days! and I love me once again. And I got Rid of the Husband before I went to AA. I killed to birds with one stone.
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Re: I need some direction

Unread postby kymba » Fri Jun 18, 2010 8:04 am

Hi Lori, recognizing that you have a drinking problem is the first step to success! I too was in your situation. My family drank, my friends, my husband, his friends, etc. My husband and I used to drink "socially" for years or just were "weekend alcoholics." We were good with that for awhile. Having three children, the youngest being 3, getting a babysitter, we were out for the night.. We were married 15 years and the DUI my then husband got was well deserved and he agreed. However, when he stopped drinking for awhile, he was a complete bore. We eventually purchased a Tavern (5 years later) and I was fast becoming a daily drinker. My 21 year marriage ended. In order to get myself back and stay myself, I have divorced my husband (btw, he got another DUI recently). I've moved, I've realized my friends were only friends when we drank. I realized by husband was an alcoholic long before our second child. I've realized my 21 year marriage was based on alcohol. I alienated myself from those who drank and started a new life. I found I'm much for fun when I'm sober and that alcohol was a crutch all those years. I am now living with my man-friend, who does not drink, which helps a great deal! I've learned to stay out of those environments or social invites that always have heavy drinking going on.

Since you already recognize the problem, start working on fixing it. If you don't want to drink, do not go out with your friends who are going to be drinking. Dinner? yea, that's okay. You will be amazed at who your friends actually are when you no longer go on drinking escapades. Will you feel left out? yes. Believe me, it is difficult, I have not had a drink in 3 years and I am happier than I'll ever be. Don't turn back... find a hobby, spend more alone time with your boyfriend, get rid of the alcohol (or langoliers as I call it to my son). Good Luck
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Re: I need some direction

Unread postby singfreejennn » Tue Jun 29, 2010 9:16 pm

Great Job everyone keep god first and all the rest Will fall in to place. In the last two years I have lost both my brothers at Very young ages 38,45 they both were users. I am here to help anyone In anyway I can. So please just reach out and stay strong. When someone offers you help do not turn them away because you never know if you will have a next time.


Peace :)
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Re: I need some direction

Unread postby FREEME » Mon Jul 12, 2010 8:46 pm

Old habbits and old friends are coming back into my life. I had almost 3 years sober and recently started to go out to bars. I plan on continuing my schooling this fall and I am worried I won`t make it if I continue to socialize with my "so called friends". I would like to start a carreer in Behavoral Health/Human Services and they say "the best councelor is one who has used", well i`m lucky to be alive, put it that way. I know what I have to do, it`s just hard with so many influences around. I know I need to go back to meetings and just feel like i`m not ready to be sober again. I was pretty frustrated with things in my life and I am just enjoying myself now, sometimes a bit too much. I know if the partying continues I will be back "full swing" before I know what hit me. Some advice would be nice, thanks.
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Re: I need some direction

Unread postby kymba » Tue Jul 13, 2010 8:55 am

FREEME wrote:Old habbits and old friends are coming back into my life. I had almost 3 years sober and recently started to go out to bars. I plan on continuing my schooling this fall and I am worried I won`t make it if I continue to socialize with my "so called friends". I would like to start a carreer in Behavoral Health/Human Services and they say "the best councelor is one who has used", well i`m lucky to be alive, put it that way. I know what I have to do, it`s just hard with so many influences around. I know I need to go back to meetings and just feel like i`m not ready to be sober again. I was pretty frustrated with things in my life and I am just enjoying myself now, sometimes a bit too much. I know if the partying continues I will be back "full swing" before I know what hit me. Some advice would be nice, thanks.


Stand back FREEME! What made you go back out to the bars? Are you lonely? Looking for friends? Or do you just want to drink ~ no reasons, no excuses, you just want too? I was in your position. I owned a bar. My life was and marriage was based on alcohol. When my marriage started falling apart, I started drinking heavily. I got taken advantage of by my ex and I admit, I know it was because I drinking, I wasn't thinking clearly. After the divorce, I got worse. I moved. I went to rehab. I was good. I wanted to remain sober but the problem was, I went right back into an environment that wasn't good for me. I wasn't happy. I started to drink. I got a job, stayed sober for a year but again, I made stupid choices because I just wasn't happy. I tried AA but didn't care for the people there. Everyone wanted to drink, it was cliquey, people were showing up drunk. My boyfriend left (he used me too) ~ i was sober then. I believed alcohol gave me confidence and it did, so I started drinking daily. Just a little to "get me going." One shot. Moved again and started drinking again. I wasn't happy and drinking made me happy. You know, that warm fuzzy feeling that mellows you out. I felt I had control. I did for awhile. But each time I drank, it progressively got worse. I was miserable with my life. I made more stupid choices, I drank more. I drank Listerine for the alcohol. I got fired from a high profile position because of my "personal" life and dumb choices. I was beaten and assaulted by a new boyfriend who almost killed me. I had had enough. It was then I decided to try to kill myself drinking. I had no one, no job, no friends (i had moved to the city after the divorce), no family. Well, killing myself wasn't meant to be. I met someone (who didn't drink), I still drank, he helped me get things together, I still drank. I prayed for something to make me stop drinking. One day, my stomach blew up like I was 12 months pregnant. This time, my liver had enough. I got my answer. That was in 2007. And you know what? I came home from the ER and still drank!!! I was admitted to the hospital, admitted I had a drinking problem, stayed there for a week and found out I had cirrhosis and two years to live without a transplant. I stayed for a week to get the alcohol out of my system. After needing a liver transplant immediately, getting on the waiting list, in and out of the hospital at least a dozen times, going to counseling, my liver started working. All my life, no matter what I did, involved drinking. Now, if I have but one drink, I may die. I would like to say that's the reason I don't drink anymore, but living in an Alcohol-free environment and counseling has made a difference. I don't want to drink anymore. I've been sober for 3 years. I feel lucky because I know if I drink, my liver will definitely fail. I say I don't have any friends. The reason why I did have friends was because we drank! They were not friends, they were drinking buddies. When I became sick, those buddies didn't even reach out to me. I never did drugs, but I know what it's like. I am attending college on-line to become a behavioral counselor. I will be the best counselor because I've been there. When I look back, I realize alcohol was always a part of my life, I just controlled it. Then I wanted it to kill me. I am thankful to be alive today and be able to help people in my position. No lies, no stories, I've been there. If you want to remain sober and don't think you can, admit yourself into a rehab. Be honest. Change your lifestyle! I never walked into a bar "alone" until I owned one. I knew that it wasn't the environment for me. I thought I could control my drinking and I did in the beginning. I gave in to the peer pressure. I gave into my husband at the time. It was fun. Cirrhosis of the liver is not fun. Realizing my marriage was based on alcohol is not fun. Moving away from my children is not fun. Getting fired is not fun. Getting assaulted is not fun. What fun did alcohol bring? Once addicted, no fun at all. I now have fun. Real live fun. I am now happy. I don't need a drink or want a drink. Fruit juice concoctions, iced coffee, water, and diet pepsi are my addictions. I stay away anyone or anything that involves alcohol. I'm not ready yet to put myself in that position. If I have too, I know I can though. Please stand back and take a look at yourself. FREE YOURSELF. I call alcohol "a little langolier" from Stephen King's book. It sneaks up on you. Don't let it... find an alcohol free friend and live! Sorry this is so long.
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Re: I need some direction

Unread postby kymba » Tue Jul 13, 2010 9:03 am

p.s.: I am 45 year old, still not blissfully happy but I have control of my life and my choices. Life is about choices.
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