Where to start?

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Where to start?

Unread postby wb2proud » Sat Sep 04, 2010 6:25 pm

Hello, I am brand new here. I am 34 yrs old, I've been drinking since I was about 15 yrs old, I started doing drugs shortly after, my late teens and twenties were a blur, for many years I was heavy into cocaine. I have been able to quit every vice I have had over the years, pot, coke, smoking, even eating pork and beef. I have taken pride in my will power to quit all these, and have never turned back. Unfortunatley, the drinking is a devil that will not let go! I have cut down signifigantly to beinga weekend drinker for many years, recently I have had an unbelieviable string of bad luck over the past year, my father died, i lost the family buisness, my wife of 12 yrs was caught cheating with a friend (we are now seperated) and I lost my job of 3 yrs. My job gave me structure and responsibility, I couldn't drink during the week because I would be missing work ect. Now i find myself alone, jobless, desperate, depressed. I started drinking very heavily at least 5 nights a week, the nights I don't drink, I feel like I want to die, I lay in bed alone, can't sleep, mind racing, severly depressed. the only thing that knocks me out, and makes me forget my pathetic live is the booze. I have become very bad over the last year. I no longer feel i can control my drinking. The loneliness, depression, insomnia is killing me. I go to the bar not only to get my fix, but also to socialize and hopefully meet girls, if I don't go there I don't know how i'll ever meet anyone. I am extremely shy and won't approach anyone without my liquid courage. I quit for about a month, several months ago, but like an idiot, I went out with my brother and fell back in. At this point It fells that I will o insane if I try to stay sober for even three days. My mother died an alcoholic, and if I don't quit, I will surely follow her to the grave. How do I quit? how do I replace my lifestyle without the bar? I have literally been drinking half my life and do not know how to live completely sober. Even when I have quit all my other vices, alcohol was always there to sooth the pain. How do I live without it?
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Re: Where to start?

Unread postby pnk » Sun Feb 27, 2011 6:29 pm

You have just made the first step in your recovery; you admitted you are powerless over alcohol and your life is unmanageable. Take heart; there is a solution. You need to get to a meeting. Look in the phone book under Alcoholics Anonymous. That line can put you in touch with other alcoholics. I don't know where you are, but our local hotline is at 610-323-3450. Perhaps you can find something closer to your location.
You can't do this alone, and willpower doesn't help. Alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful.
Good luck with your journey.

Last bumped by Anonymous on Sun Feb 27, 2011 6:29 pm.

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