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Where to start?

Unread postPosted: Sat Sep 04, 2010 6:25 pm
by wb2proud
Hello, I am brand new here. I am 34 yrs old, I've been drinking since I was about 15 yrs old, I started doing drugs shortly after, my late teens and twenties were a blur, for many years I was heavy into cocaine. I have been able to quit every vice I have had over the years, pot, coke, smoking, even eating pork and beef. I have taken pride in my will power to quit all these, and have never turned back. Unfortunatley, the drinking is a devil that will not let go! I have cut down signifigantly to beinga weekend drinker for many years, recently I have had an unbelieviable string of bad luck over the past year, my father died, i lost the family buisness, my wife of 12 yrs was caught cheating with a friend (we are now seperated) and I lost my job of 3 yrs. My job gave me structure and responsibility, I couldn't drink during the week because I would be missing work ect. Now i find myself alone, jobless, desperate, depressed. I started drinking very heavily at least 5 nights a week, the nights I don't drink, I feel like I want to die, I lay in bed alone, can't sleep, mind racing, severly depressed. the only thing that knocks me out, and makes me forget my pathetic live is the booze. I have become very bad over the last year. I no longer feel i can control my drinking. The loneliness, depression, insomnia is killing me. I go to the bar not only to get my fix, but also to socialize and hopefully meet girls, if I don't go there I don't know how i'll ever meet anyone. I am extremely shy and won't approach anyone without my liquid courage. I quit for about a month, several months ago, but like an idiot, I went out with my brother and fell back in. At this point It fells that I will o insane if I try to stay sober for even three days. My mother died an alcoholic, and if I don't quit, I will surely follow her to the grave. How do I quit? how do I replace my lifestyle without the bar? I have literally been drinking half my life and do not know how to live completely sober. Even when I have quit all my other vices, alcohol was always there to sooth the pain. How do I live without it?

Re: Where to start?

Unread postPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 6:29 pm
by pnk
You have just made the first step in your recovery; you admitted you are powerless over alcohol and your life is unmanageable. Take heart; there is a solution. You need to get to a meeting. Look in the phone book under Alcoholics Anonymous. That line can put you in touch with other alcoholics. I don't know where you are, but our local hotline is at 610-323-3450. Perhaps you can find something closer to your location.
You can't do this alone, and willpower doesn't help. Alcohol is cunning, baffling, and powerful.
Good luck with your journey.