My Husband, Myself

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My Husband, Myself

Unread postby bubble07 » Sat Dec 11, 2010 9:43 am

My husand just recently admitted to having a drinking problem. Only reason was because I said I was leaving. I told him I would help him anyway that I can but that I knew that he couldn't do this himself and that he needed help. The issue at this point is, that my husband is very private. I can't go with him to every AA meeting and Thou he says he wants help, he won't go alone. Does anyone make housecalls? Not trying to be funny, just trying to figure things out. we have a 7yr old boy. I don't know what else to do. any suggestions?
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Re: My Husband, Myself

Unread postby Rainspa » Sun Dec 12, 2010 3:36 pm

What to do:

Go to an Al-Anon meeting, get a soponsor and work the steps of Al-Anon.

Your husband is not willing to go to AA, so there is no reason to suspect that he will be willing at this point to work the steps of AA.

You and your son deserve a better life. You will find that in Al-Anon.

Re: My Husband, Myself

Unread postby thorobrdgirl1980 » Thu Mar 24, 2011 7:24 pm

To help him, help yourself. I think an important thing to consider... is that making threats to him will only hinder (trust me.. i've done it). it is important to set boundaries for him and yourself. YOU and your SON as well as your husband don't have to live in such a way that his alcoholism has consumed YOUR life and made it unmanageable. Al-Anon meetings will help you to detach yourself.. not to stop loving him.. but to detach the parts of his addiction that have inevitably consumed your life.
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Re: My Husband, Myself

Unread postby maggs » Tue Mar 29, 2011 12:55 pm

It isn't about privacy or fear of going alone (btw you can go to an AA meeting to get him started), it IS about he is not ready to do what it takes to get well.
I agree, go to Al-anon or get a private addictions counselor to teach you how to set limits and then carry the limits out. A 7 year old is years from early adolescence when they then makes decisions about drinking and limits by observing. Enough said.

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