i need help with this i cant do it alone

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i need help with this i cant do it alone

Unread postby kmartin500 » Thu Dec 09, 2010 10:11 am

earlier this week i was told that i have problem with drugs. :lol: at first i didnt get why i was told this repeatedly but now i have come to terms with the fact that their right i do need to stop before this goes to far. :( i have not taken any steps to getting help yet but it has been a week since i have used. :D im not sick but i want to get high. :mrgreen: i dont get sick ever but this is tearing my life apart and i need to save my self now. :?: i keep getting told that i need to got to meetings but no one is willing to take me. i just need help i cant do this all by myself it is to hard. :?: im surrunded by drugs and people who do the and so many people seem to think im their connect i have told people that im getting clean but they dont care they just want to get their fix. :| but i just need someone to care about may sobriety. :(
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Re: i need help with this i cant do it alone

Unread postby toomanypills » Wed Dec 15, 2010 4:46 pm

You have made the 1st difficult and crucial steps by admintting that you hae a problem and you are willing to start on the road to reccovery. Keep gpoing tp meetings at least every day for the mext 60 days. Although this seemd like a lot, it will help you in ways that you currently could not imagine. Are you in Chester county. Write back and let me know how you are making out. Keep going back and keep an open mind! Thanks :)
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Re: i need help with this i cant do it alone

Unread postby chemfan » Sat Dec 25, 2010 12:29 pm

You are not alone. There are many of us out there trying to regain control and positive perspective of our lives. I'm praying for you and
hope you continue to reach out for all the help you need. You deserve it. Take care.
chemfan
 

Re: i need help with this i cant do it alone

Unread postby jasontorinn » Tue Dec 28, 2010 12:40 pm

dear need help, i got clean ten years ago, my life compared to now was unimaginable. i relapsed one year ago. i have managed to lose almost everything. i am a father and a husband. i have managed to burn my life to the ground. i wake everyday and work to get straight, but through everything i remember in the back of my mind waking up and just being happy to wake up. when i cleaned up i removed all those people around me who still used. it was so hard they were the only friends i had mixed with alot of insecurity. in doing this it got better. i did meeting everyday and things got better. i was part of something. now i stand here feeling so alone surrounded by people who depend on me and love me. like i said i am two days clean clinging on to each minute to not use. hopeing against hope i can go on. i know whwat life is like clean i want it so bad but the hurt still holds me. the shame and hopelessnes surrounds me. i just want you to know one thing, one promise i can give you. it will get better life will return to you and you can do anything you want. meeting helped me and anger. anger at my disease. i hated it so much and i need to get back there. i wish you all the the strength in your path. with hope, jason
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Re: i need help with this i cant do it alone

Unread postby InVein44 » Sat Jan 29, 2011 5:03 pm

My dear no one can do it alone. My story is LONG but I am willing to tell it. I have batteled it for 14 years. I have OCD, Paranoia and severe anger issues. Since i don't know you that well, I won't presume to speak down to you but let me say this. i NEVER got sick, for the 1st year, I didn't know what sick was but when it came, I thought death was the ONLY escape. Death rejected me, for a reason I hope. IDK what ur drug of choice is however if you need help, if you need to vent, scream, get it out of your system before it breaks you, I am here. Anyone in need can contact me. I am far from winning the battle but for the 1st time in all these years I am ready! Ready is what i thought i was many times but I lied to myself. Now that things are diferent, I feel it, I KNOW it, this will be my time. I have 3 reasons that i never had before.
#1. I want to "want" to live
#2. I love my family, knew how I was hurting them but I have someone (never a user) who has accepted me, loved me & taken on 2 jobs so I can get the help I need. This man hurts when I hurt, lives his life as if he was born to be here for me, I never wanted to change to make another's life better.
#3. I have a big fear/phobia of being away from home. When i would hear 28 days or more, I thought that was a LIFETIME! Now, it seams that time is a simple drop in the buckett. Still afraid, I am ready. I only wish it didn't take so long...
I'll be here for you.
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Re: i need help with this i cant do it alone

Unread postby recovered » Mon Jan 31, 2011 9:47 am

I have learned, that I am not powerless over people, places, and things.
I have power to make people do what I want. I could go anywhere, and pick out the one with the dope.

My life was unmanagable cause I coudn't manage the decision to stop.
recovered
 

Re: i need help with this i cant do it alone

Unread postby smily2248 » Wed Feb 02, 2011 3:01 pm

jasontorinn wrote:dear need help, i got clean ten years ago, my life compared to now was unimaginable. i relapsed one year ago. i have managed to lose almost everything. i am a father and a husband. i have managed to burn my life to the ground. i wake everyday and work to get straight, but through everything i remember in the back of my mind waking up and just being happy to wake up. when i cleaned up i removed all those people around me who still used. it was so hard they were the only friends i had mixed with alot of insecurity. in doing this it got better. i did meeting everyday and things got better. i was part of something. now i stand here feeling so alone surrounded by people who depend on me and love me. like i said i am two days clean clinging on to each minute to not use. hopeing against hope i can go on. i know whwat life is like clean i want it so bad but the hurt still holds me. the shame and hopelessnes surrounds me. i just want you to know one thing, one promise i can give you. it will get better life will return to you and you can do anything you want. meeting helped me and anger. anger at my disease. i hated it so much and i need to get back there. i wish you all the the strength in your path. with hope, jason


JASON, YOU HANG IN THERE!!!! YOU KNOW HOW GOOD IT CAN BE IF YOU LET IT. DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP, JUST PICK YOURSELF BACK UP AND REGAIN THE POWER OF AN HP AND HE WILL LEAD THE WAY. ONE DAY AT A TIME IS ALL IT TAKES.
smily2248
 

Re: i need help with this i cant do it alone

Unread postby Guest » Sat Feb 05, 2011 12:11 pm

All the energy you would put into getting high you gotta flip it into staying clean. it took me a little while to follow my own advice but think about it all the stress in getting your fix or helping some one from being sick the things you'd do. I know I would walk and hour and a half to the train to go get mine.. bc i only had enough money to get the train to and from and my fix. it so hard in the beginning because its unknown and change is difficult. its do much easier to just keep living life the way you have atleast you know the outcome but i can say now i feel so good that i can accomplish something it gives me a feeling of empowerment. i have control of myself and my life nothing will control me again like that drug. I wouldn't change anything about my past because i would not be where i am at and i enjoy it today life that is. i dont make as many meetings as i could but i do make them.. i am starting to surround myself with positive ppl not ppl that want my urine to pass their drug test or ones that want me to get them suboxone or weed. I used to do it because i am very codependent but i have realized i come first not if someone likes me or putting myself in stupid situations so ppl will like me.. its all about you and only you. you have to be able to be honest with yourself and sit back and think about your situation and do what u know in your heart is right and all will work out.
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