Serenity how?

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Serenity how?

Unread postby JuMunchie » Mon Jan 03, 2011 2:10 pm

I admit I'm impatient many times over. How I hunted for years, I have no idea. I hear from other Al-anon people that I need to receive in God's time. In my higher power's time. Obviously I don't have a 100% concept of this.... because I don't have an idea of what a God means to me. Those steps will be the most difficult for me for sure.

I have been diagnosed with PTSD and now Bi-polar. And, that doesn't make a good combination with an alcoholic. Not that anything really does.... but the yelling/screaming....

I think it makes me MORE on edge than other people.

She honestly picked a fight with me this morning. And, when I tried to defend myself (I'm 31), I got told to just shut up. She actually played bully parent on me. And, it's because of this, that many times over, I wish she would stay drunk. And, yes ironically when she is drunk, I either feel comfortable or ready for some level of sobriety. My own worst enemy for sure.

I'm getting a lot out of the meetings.... I go to (on average) 3 a week.... maybe 4.

Not everything in the meetings I like.... but again, a complete learning process.

In any event, how am I supposed to find peace when I'm being yelled at to shut up? The readings imply that running from the situation doesn't help. I was literally ready to rip something apart this morning. I'd love to call someone but she has this habit of listening in on phone calls. Certainly there must be a way. I don't have any books in front of me...

Maybe a reading, a saying, something would help?
JuMunchie
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Re: Serenity how?

Unread postby Gary11706 » Wed Jan 19, 2011 1:17 pm

I have been sober for over 3 decades. I still find it difficult to deal with my core problems, as it was in the beginning The understanding that the problems in front of you can be removed from your emotional life is not possible, but the ability to not act on them is a learned skill. I start a move to balance with one thought. Do not make bad things worse. Do the easy thing first, because you change who you are by your actions,
Gary11706
 


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