by whycont29 » Mon Jan 31, 2011 10:25 am
I've been married for 29yrs and just recently found out that my husband not only was abusing alcohol and drugs but also having a 2yr long affair. When i was informed of the affair, by the other spouse, my husband signed himself into a 7 day rehab. I was hurt and angry and had decided to leave him. Then of course started having second thoughts. Do i just leave alone a person i loved for most of my life(been married since age 16)? Do i save myself? How can i possibly go on living with a person i thought i iknew but has been lying to me for over 2 yrs. In being honest with myself i saw signs of the abuse but delt with it by ignoring it. Suspected something "not right" about his relationship with "that woman". "Was i part of the problem?', I keep asking myself. Do i owe him anything?
Well here we are almost 3 weeks later and I haven't gotten too many answers. He is back in our house, sleeping in another room, he hasn't had a drink or used drugs, we have been going to church and he is currently on anti-depresant meds and going to therapy. But i still have to ask myself, will i ever trust him again? Is this "new person" just temporary? How could he have sex with someone else for 2yrs and still claim to love me??????? Will he stay away from the alcohol & drugs? and if not will i be strong enough to walk away? Our two children are grown and support what ever decision i make. I'm so torn!!! I am going to attend a nar-anon mtg. But, is my issue with the substance abuse or the affair??
Anyone out there go thru similar situation or can give some much needed support/advice?