Looking for help for My children and myself Please Help

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Looking for help for My children and myself Please Help

Unread postby upsetwifemomof2 » Wed Mar 02, 2011 9:37 am

I am new to this so any advise is better than none,
I have been married to my husband for almost 9 yrs now we have been on and off for the past 5 yrs orders of procetion and droped ones as well.He has a drug problem and was put in a state jail for 9months, when he was realised I allowed him to come back home. He was really great for a while and then he slacked off and was wasting his days in bed and not going to meetings. He is on parole and is now in a rehab I found out that he was dirty, I depend on his child support to help with the rent and bills. I have two small children with him and I am looking for a job at night as my ,along with a place to move as my landlord is selling the house we rent. I have mixed feelings for him,I love him but in the same breath I hate him for all the drama he put me and my children in. I am overwhellemed and do not know what to do. I feel so hurt and betrade, his family does not see him having a problem am all our fights they blame me for but what am I to do, I have my 81 yr old mother living with me and she is going blind and depressed so she really is not much help to me. I am affrad of him going back to jail and then I wont get any child support and then I am really up a creak. I do not like the people he trys to keep as friends and I most certanly do not want my 6yr old daughter and 8yr old son that has Aspigers around him, I really do not have many friends and I really need help, Someone PLEASE HELP Me and my family with some advise! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!![/color]
upsetwifemomof2
 

Re: Looking for help for My children and myself Please Help

Unread postby frankiec » Tue Mar 08, 2011 3:13 pm

Dear Looking: I would STRONGLY reccommend that you start attending Naranon or Alanon meetings!! I am a widow who lost her husband at 35 to a drug overdose, and also a mother of 2. You first need to learn about addiction so that you can try to figure out what you want to do. These meetings are for friends/family that are affected by an addicted person. I found many people going through exactly what I was going through at these meetings and ALWAYS took away with me good advice that I was able to use. Nothing you do can make him change if he doesn't want to. That was the first and hardest lesson I learned. My baby was 2 when I lost my husband but we have all come a LONG way since then. I am a much stronger person than I ever imagined...you are too! You can get through this TRUST ME!! I also was blamed for many of the fights and problems his addiction created by his family...NONE of that is true. He is the only person responsible for his problems. You are not to blame because his family is in DENIAL. Please try a few meetings you will learn so much. I pray that you will find relief for the suffering you have already endured and skills to minimize any further suffering. DO it. Not only for yourself but for your kids!! They deserve a better life and YOU can give it to them. Educate yourself (and his family) about enabling behavior and DENIAL they are 2 huge steps in the right direction. You ARE NOT ALONE!! And there is help available to you just reach out for it! Best wishes, Frankie
PS They have Naranon meeting everywhere and alot are child friendly. GO TODAY!
frankiec
 


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