His pain and my pain! Please Help

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His pain and my pain! Please Help

Unread postby jaelyn363 » Tue Mar 01, 2011 11:54 am

I am dating an amazing man who i was once engaged to about 3 yrs ago. We recently hooked back up this past november and the sparks were still there. Its seems as though the feelings never died. He recently confided in me that he has a problem taking certain pain pills. He was prescribed them 2yrs ago after his car accident and he can't stop taking them. I was alittle shocked to hear this but at the same time i was happy that he noticed his problem. He said that he was going to stop taking them and go to NA meetings. He has been doing good with going to the meetings. But he gets really sick. This is where i do not understand what he is going through. There are times when he can just sleep all day and moan in pain. I try and put myself in his shoes but it is very hard.

I have never really been one to do drugs or drink. I do not understand the affects that it has on his body. There are times when he doesnt want to be touched, held or talked too. He just wants to sleep. This is extremely devasting to me because i feel like he is pushing me away. I think he is making this up so that he can just be done with me. Idk. Its something i have been struggling with for the past 3 weeks. I am to the point where i am tired of feeling unwanted. he just rolls his eyes and he says "only if u knew what i was going through". But i don't and i will never know. My friends are telling me that i should try not to take it personally that he doesnt want to be bothered. That he is fighting himself and his body. I guess i want to know if this is common. I am really not familiar with this at all. I don't know what to do to help him. So I stay and deal with me feeling invisible or leave and let him deal with this? Please Help :cry:
jaelyn363
 

Re: His pain and my pain! Please Help

Unread postby theloneh@aol.com » Tue Mar 08, 2011 11:00 am

My heart goes out to you. It sounds as if he is still using. My suggestion to you is to go to an AN meeting. You need to be with other people in your shoes. Listen to these people at the meetings. You will soon hear your own story. God bless and God's speed.
theloneh@aol.com
 

Re: His pain and my pain! Please Help

Unread postby ayalasonia63@gmail.com » Wed Mar 09, 2011 12:57 pm

My dear I feel for you, but I agree with the other post, he needs to go to detox and have them help him kick his habit, he must detox and go go NA meetings, but without the detox he will not make it. Kicking percozet or Hidrocodone is very hard, he cant do it himself. If he checks into rehab they will give him medication to help him get rid of the drugs in his body. I have been clean from pain killers now for 5 months. Beleive me the headaches and the pain you get when detoxing is horrible.I can relate to how he feels I did not want my husband to touch me or see me sick. I tried to kick the habit myself but could not do it I tried 6 times to detox but without medical help is almost impsossible. Is hard work and I praise him for trying to get himself clean, he was honest with you about his habit so he really must love you. Take this action as the first step. I fyou love each other you can beat this together, be supportive. Listen and be there for him there is nothing else you can do but give him support emotionally. The physical aspect of his rehab has to be done medical professionals. GOOD LUCK.
ayalasonia63@gmail.com
 

Re: His pain and my pain! Please Help

Unread postby Ashlee » Tue Apr 19, 2011 7:38 pm

I just had this happen to me. My boyfriend of 2 years finally came out to me saying he needed help only because I was about to kick him out. He is about to come home from treatment in 2 days. It was the best thing I could of done was to stop all of the allowing and enabling I did. I didn't even know at first but after a while all he did was sleep and push me away. I know it hurts but he needs help. And when he does get better its amazing. I'm just starting the road with my boyfriend but I believe if you want to help... help with everything you can. Go to meetings , talk to people , and take care of yourself too!
Ashlee
 


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