Experience @ 1st Meeting

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Experience @ 1st Meeting

Unread postby cleopatra » Wed Apr 20, 2011 6:12 am

Ok I did it!!!!!! after 3 says of the prep work,like finding a place near me,finding a time that fits me, making sure it is nice out, will the dog be feed?, will anyone else need me at this time, is the wash done? how about is it in a good neighborhood, will it be during rush hour. ..........................In others words GETTING UP THE NERVE!

AnywAY I pull up to the parking lot of a beautiful church and I just sit in the parking lot and sweat,shake Oh my why did I quit smoking 11 years ago i need a smoke right now....... I see people start walking in, I finally followed a nice lady and my heart is pumping, I see a guy in front of me stop to pray at the statue of Jesus "oh my should I/ do I -do this 1st before i go in ?".... no no, she didn't... ok so keep walking...Ok so now I am in the building.. my heart is pumping, can everyone else hear it ? Wow I am following these people and what if ..it is just their Choir? I am so embarrassed ... there are no signs ..do I ask??..... ok I will just follow her..maybe I can find a bathroom I am so nervous I am going to throw up....Why isnt anyone saying something to me? like ..can I help you ...Ok ok Ok (find the nerve) I will just ask?? ..excuse me is this Alanon? someone replies.. Yes in here (thank God!! ) .. I am in.... OH MY there is a room full of people where do I sit? Is there assigned seats?? Why isnt anyone saying SOMETHING giving me direction....(should I leave?)

Everyone is talking to each other...NO ONE is talking to me? Everyone knows everyone..No one still EVEN trying to talk to me...I am so uncomfortable, what do I do ? Is this a private meeting, Oh No more people walking in..... "Hi Jim oh hello Pam ,how is your mom Tina" still No one is saying welcome or anything a few smiles but thats it... I am so UNCOMFORTABLE I can not be the only 1 new here can I? ....Everyone seems to know what to do??? Oh dear they are getting books out? I dont have a book , should I have a book? ..Maybe I can pretend to have to go to the bathroom again ...and walk out...No stay , why oh why did I sit in the front..come early, COME at all???????

Ok she is about the call the meeting to order.................She reads something ask if anyone New?? YOU GOT IT!! JUST me...She reads again and then makes me read STEP 2 OMG I am about to die my heart is coming out of my chest.. Ok we are going around the table reading from a cardboard list (whatis this.. seems to be rules?) ...What NOw? they are passing around a basket ..Oh dear how much do I put in....she now asks if I would like to stay or have a private 1 on 1 with a member?.... ( ????? Um ..I just want out of here)............ so I will take the 1 0n 1 thanks

So a very nice man (wow wish it was a woman,men not on my "want to be around list these days") takes me in a room, ugh SHUTS the door, ...heart beating even faster now...and proceeds to explain the meeting format...NOW they explain it!! I feel a little better but it is now an hour later... MY STOMACH IS IN KNOTS I HAVE BEEN HOLDING BACK TEARS FOR AN HOUR.....

SO that was my 1st experience!!... I made it through,Not anything I would want anyone to experience their 1st time anywhere BUT I will go back!! But I promise to reach out and say HELLO TO ANYONE and EVERYONE I see at "Any "meeting that looks...... LOST, LONELY OR NEW... so No one will have to wait 1 MORE hour before they feel like they are alone in whatever they are GOING THROUGH

I hope this helps just 1 person to ~make yourself go~and I hope it helps people at the meetings already, know what to do to MAYBE make it a tad bit easier for the Newbie~ Our Life-Future is scarey enough ~ don't want our support to be that way too <3

Cleo
cleopatra
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Re: Experience @ 1st Meeting

Unread postby DJphilly » Thu May 12, 2011 3:26 pm

Thanks for sharing this! I have only been going a few weeks, but you soon forget how it is for first time people. I appreciate the reminder how first timers may feel and for the encouragement to everyone to attend a meeting. I can say that my first meeting was scary and to be honest a bit strange. I was so emotional and isolated. And then when everyone would say hello to a member when that member first spoke...and then at the end when everyone held hands and ended the meeting in a prayer. It was outside of my comfort zone, yet the people who shared were so kind and understanding! And the stories I heard I could relate to so well. And then the people I could relate to sharing how they have started feeling better, happy and peaceful even! I knew I had to go back. They say in Al-Anon, take what you want and leave the rest. This and that there are no musts in Al-Anon. This makes the program very comfortable. I don't have to agree with everyone nor do I even have to share if I don't feel comfortable. But in time many of these thing which initially put me off or made me feel uncomfortable actually are now providing me comfort. So, I'm rambling. The point I'm trying to make is you owe it to yourself to try Al-Anon out! Each meeting has a different flavor so try a few before you make up your mind. I can tell you its made a big difference already in my life!
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