by DEEPDARKWATERS » Sun Feb 13, 2011 2:07 pm
Feeling depressed and worthless is more of a not working problem rather then a not drinking problem ! I have been right where you are now, I lost my D/L for 10 years on my 3rd offence, but hung on to my job (just barely) by reaching out to others to get rides to and from work ! Swallowed my (false) pride & just begged anyone & everyone to get to work & MORE importantly to get to AA meetings after work ! I had just gone though a divorce with my actively drinking & drugging wife & had full custody of my infant first born son ! I was blessed with an understanding Mother who would look after him while I was at work, but she was smart enough to draw the line at that ! So, there I was, sitting in the front row at AA meeting's every night (yes, 7 days a week) with my son in my arms ! Oh. did I mention that he was born with S.I.D.'s & had to be hand monitored whenever he was asleep away from his electronic monitor at home ? He would just stop breathing & needed to be awakened before he passed on ! I can go on about how much stress I was dealing with when I hit bottom & stopped drinking but I think you get the idea ! Feb 14, 1984, I had my last drink & never had another ! I'm 54 yr's old now & have another son who lives full time with my first son & I (yep, divorced again & really had my heart ripped apart with that one). I was injured at work & I'm permanently disabled, my loving Mother passed away from cancer (very suddenly) & many other things that some would say were excuses to pick up a drink ! Don't hang with folks such as them ! There are no excuses to pick up a drink after you have admitted your problem ! Short & sweet of it, ONE DAY AT A TIME (sometimes a minute at a time) DON'T PICK IT UP (if you don't put it in your hand you can't drink it) & GO TO MEETING'S (where you will find the rest of your keep it simple guidance) ! Hope you work it as hard as I did & get your life back (hitting your knees never hurts & your higher power is YOUR higher power) ! As far as your fear goes, stuff it in a bag and bring it with you to a meeting, just walk in the door & blurt out- I'm (your first name here) and I need help ! The rest will fall into place & you will see your fear was false fear ! Good luck on your new journey to a better way to live (not aways easy but most definitely better) !