by abclimo » Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:22 am
Annie: Hi and welcome. Your post says so much and so did Ryans post. I agree about meetings. After I got clean, I went to a meeting everyday and found a few that I felt more comfortable at and those are the meetings that I attend regularly. I have also found that journaling what I am feeling helps me to deal with stress, sometimes I don't even know that something is bothering me until it comes through my pen and onto the paper, it's pretty profound some days. Just a thought about trying the journaling. I have worked in the legal field for many years and I can tell you that if the baby's father brought up your past at the custody conference, you are lucky to have gotten 50/50 custody and the fact that you don't need supervision for your custody is excellent, it shows that someone is believing in you. Definitely start to go to meetings, you don't say how old your other children are, but once you start going to meetings, write them all down, also keep track of your clean time, then when you are ready, you can try for more custody or custody of your other children with the proof that you have been clean and attend meetings regularly to stay clean. Network with others are your meeting so you STAY clean. You will get out of your efforts, exactly what you put into them. If you make a lot of effort to go to meetings, share at the meetings, get involved and help others, you will definitely get a lot out of the program and that is the recovery part of your addiction. It is one thing to be "clean" and it is totally another thing to be in "recovery". If you have an NA book, it's part of more will be revealed, if not, you can view it only for free. You have made the effort to get clean, now stay clean (which is sometimes easier said than done) and work your recovery, so you will heal. You can do this, you are worth it and so are your children. Keep posting because we care what happens. Hugs!