feeling so hopeless

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feeling so hopeless

Unread postby vaidella55 » Tue Sep 13, 2011 7:11 am

help! i am feeling like i'm about 2 die. after some time clean n sober i started 2 drink. then it was smoking pot, then pills, then on 2 my drug of choice. crack cocaine. i just feel so damn stupid because i did this same thing b4 after having 4 yrs clean. what the hell is wrong with me? there is no excuse 4 what i've done. i stopped going 2 meetings because i felt like i was ok. now look where i'm at.. i will make a meeting 2 day if it kills me. i need help real bad
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Re: feeling so hopeless

Unread postby robertoZ » Wed Sep 14, 2011 9:38 pm

We're addicts. We never stop having the impulse to use that to which we're addicted. Ever. They come fewer and further between as you well know. But we're never cured. Keep going to meetings one day at a time. You'll be ok. Good luck.
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Re: feeling so hopeless

Unread postby abclimo » Wed Sep 14, 2011 10:00 pm

Vaidella55: Hi and welcome back. Unfortunately, we are addicts, which means we sometimes get a little self-assured and quit going to meetings and think we can drink and just use a drug occasionally. Unfortunately, we also know this is not true. We cannot control our addictions unless we stop using totally (drugs and alcohol). I know it feels like you will die, but you'll get through this, you'll feel miserable though for a little bit. You know that meetings work for you, so definitely start going to meetings again, go to one a day, if you need to. You know that by collecting phone numbers and creating a network of contact people you can stay clean, you can call them BEFORE you pick up a drink or drugs again. I'm a big fan of journaling, and it's cheap therapy. Journal how you are feeling and what you are thinking when you have the urges to use. It's interesting how sometimes I don't even realize what is bothering me until it comes out through the pen and ends up on paper. You had 4 years clean, so you know how to do this. Definitely work your recovery, there's a huge difference between being clean and sober and recovering. Take it one day at a time, and enjoy your road back to being clean and sober.
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Re: feeling so hopeless

Unread postby L1veL1fe89 » Thu Sep 29, 2011 11:08 pm

I know you are looking for reasurence but im in the same boat you are, im a coke addict and i still havent gotten through my first week. I am worried that i cant do it. I did when i got up this morning but now im not so sure i can make it... i need help too. I am going to a meeting on sunday and maybe two on monday). they say to take it one day at a time. ok im gonna really try and i hope you do too. :roll:
Melissa
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Re: feeling so hopeless

Unread postby abclimo » Fri Sep 30, 2011 11:31 am

LiveLife: You can do this, you need to just keep reminding yourself that you can do it. It's the most difficult thing you'll ever do, but definitely the most rewarding. I was sure that even after coming out of detox that I would not be able to do it. I started going to meetings, kept myself really busy and started networking with other addicts so I could call someone when the urge got too great. I started to journal what I was feeling when I would have drug cravings. Sometimes its about what I was feeling inside that made me want to do drugs, not about the drugs themselves. You can do this, find a meeting, and share that you are new, people will definitely want to help you. Post here also. You can choose the right path and get clean.
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Re: feeling so hopeless

Unread postby L1veL1fe89 » Fri Sep 30, 2011 4:01 pm

abclimo: Im gonna try really hard. My first meetings is going to be on sunday. im going with my husband and one of my bestfriends. All three of us are addicts. Tomorrow im gonna keep myself busy tonight by watching the Tigers beat up on New york. and then on saturday im going to my sisters and she will help keep me in line. Then im gonna finish out the night by watching the Phillies kick St. luis ass!!!!! WooHoo! Go Phils!
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Re: feeling so hopeless

Unread postby abclimo » Sat Oct 01, 2011 7:41 am

LiveLife: You go!!! Woo Hoo, it sounds like you have a great plan. Except, NY is gonna win!!!! Lol. I'd like to see it be NY and Phillies in the series again. I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed all day that you keep the good thing going. Please post back and let us know how your weekend went.
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Re: feeling so hopeless

Unread postby L1veL1fe89 » Sat Oct 01, 2011 1:36 pm

abelimo: I got thru my first test last night! im so proud of myself! I got a text about someone wanted to go halfsies and its the first time that i ever turned it down. Wooohooo! Now i just gotta get thru the rest of the weekend.
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Re: feeling so hopeless

Unread postby Salem215 » Sat Oct 01, 2011 3:38 pm

Hey i just got home from rehab, 5 days detox and 21 in rehab.. the first 10-14 days i thought "i got this, this is easy, i just wont use, im ready to leave" but the more it got closer to me leaving, i got really scared.. and i payed attention as much as i could to take in as much information as possible! dont substitute! it will make matters worse when ur drinking AND drugging =\ my first couple weeks in there i thought i could get out, smoke and drink and be fine but thats not fine.. for over 10 years ive been drinking and drugging, its definatly put my life at risk and i will no longer do that.. you can do it! 1 day at a time! stick wit the program go to meetings get yourself a sponsor! and thats VERY good news that u turned down a chance to use! thats a GREAT sign! theres TONS of things u can do instead of drugs!
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Re: feeling so hopeless

Unread postby babedol912 » Sat Oct 01, 2011 7:11 pm

i feel like im dying right now as well..luckily i have subs to cope me thru..but this is the worst..idk how to overcome this :/ :roll:
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Re: feeling so hopeless

Unread postby abclimo » Sun Oct 02, 2011 9:00 am

LiveLife and everyone else who made it through yesterday clean: Congrats, I know Saturday's are really difficult since so many people party on Saturdays and Saturday night. You all deserve a big WooHoo!!! Let's keep going, it's the weekend, then we'll wind down into Monday and regular routines and hopefully we'll still all be clean then. I know we can do it, we took the first step and came here looking for help, so we want to stay clean. Good work all!!!
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Re: feeling so hopeless

Unread postby abclimo » Sun Oct 02, 2011 9:05 am

babedol: It does get easier, with time. There are always temptations all around us. I didn't have suboxone to help me with my detox, so I am not sure how they make you feel. Maybe the suboxone is making you not feel so great, definitely talk to the doctor about how you are feeling. You are able to do this, just keep focused on staying clean, one day at a time, one hour at a time, or a minute at a time. Find some meetings and go, talk to people, share and find a sponsor, that is so important. Enjoy your journey to a new clean life.
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Re: feeling so hopeless

Unread postby L1veL1fe89 » Mon Oct 03, 2011 7:29 pm

I dont get a woohoo. Sundays are my weekness cuz im off sundays and mondays. I failed. But i went to my first meeting tonight (monday) and they welcomed me with open arms.
I am so really to recover.
I am so asamed that i didnt make it thru the whole weekend.
at day zero .
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Re: feeling so hopeless

Unread postby abclimo » Mon Oct 03, 2011 11:25 pm

LiveLife: It's ok that you failed the first time. You started going to meetings and that will help you, without a doubt. You have to start over, but you can do it, think positively.
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Re: feeling so hopeless

Unread postby robertoZ » Tue Oct 04, 2011 6:03 am

Failure is sometimes part of it, BUT, it is imperative that you look at what happened Sunday and PLAN to do something different next time. If you do the same things you will get them same results. BEFORE you use 1)pick up your phone and call anyone on the list of numbers you have. Do not stop until you are speaking with someone and telling them EXACTLY what's going on. 2) Go immediately to a meeting. If it's not for 4 hours yet, go to step 1 for 4 hour. It's that simple.
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