by necybug » Thu Oct 20, 2011 12:19 pm
frankiefixescomputers wrote:
> It is said that when somebody else acts, and I cannot control my feelings
> over that, that I am Co-Dependant. This note that you wrote, in a nutshell,
> spells out how those who voluntarily involve themselves with people in
> addiction are deeply disturbed and need some help too. Unless a man is in a
> cell with another, or is in some simular circumstance, it is voluntary
> interaction. The fact that we can become so negative, that we can become so
> charged with reaction all the while blaming others for our feelings is a
> sickness that in a perverse way, attracts us to other people in their
> addiction. We who are Co-Dependant, usually beg or comand. We rarely just
> walk away from what is unhealthy. Instead, we put ourselves in a position
> to cure the other person where other medical or spiritual treatments have
> failed in their lives. in short, we tend to step into the lions mouth, and
> then complain when he starts knashing his teeth! It is true that we all get
> screwed by people from time to time. They even outright lie, cheat, beg,
> borrow, manipulate, and steal! But wouldn't a healthy person be able to
> draw a line and then say goodbye when the person steps over it? You sound
> as if more than one of your lines has been steped over. while your feelings
> are valid, they are probably a healthy response to what you have been
> through, just look at how much you have put yourself through to feel so
> wroth! And if just crossing the line once has put you in such apathy, how
> lonely you must feel when any one of a hundred people tries to make friends
> with you. I learn to let go of people with love and understanding before I
> get a consuming negativity becuase I feel better all through the day. That
> allows me to have some peace of mind. I forgive while there is still not
> much to forgive because a deep resentment is like a wet blanket that can
> soak you down to the bone. I look at sick people like they are sick. As I
> discover that a man has cancer, I realize that only the cancer doctor can
> fix him, and I don't look at him as if he can sure himself of it either. I
> view the alcoholic and addict the same way. That if they aren't applying
> the medecine to treat their condition, they are not going to get better.
> For with the training to deal with and treat the sick comes the training to
> deal with your reaction to their illness. My reaction to other peoples
> problems are in direct proportion to my ability to help them with it. Just
> because somebody isn't well, it doesn't mean that I have to expose myself
> to their disease. Especially if I do not possess the ability to deal with
> it! May the peace of God find you my friend.