Really new to this, could use some words of wisdom...

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Really new to this, could use some words of wisdom...

Unread postby Brian245 » Wed Nov 09, 2011 7:40 am

Hello everyone,
I have recently gotten myself involved with a woman who is an alcoholic.. we have been dating for about six months and I don't want to abandon her because of the alcoholism. She ha recently admitted to me that she is an alcoholic and that she wants to quit drinking. She seems to be reluctant to going to AA meetings, because she doesnt fell that she is "that type of alcoholic". Both of my parents were alcoholics, my mother sucessfuly quit drinking and has been sober for 30 years, my father passed an alcoholic. I have a little familiarity with living with/dealing with alcoholism, but this is the first tme I have dated the disease. My problem is that she needs help, and I know she does. She knows she does... she is reluctant to go to meetings, and when she is away from alcohol for long enough, the anger and negativity that builds up in her becomes unbearable. She decided to quit drinking about two months ago, and has probably drank 4-5 times since them. I don't know what to do. I reckognize that this is her battle to fight, and that standing between her and the alcohol will be disasterous.
I want her to know that if she does slip, she can talk to me, call me for a ride or count on me for support, but at the same time I feel like behaving that way may be supporting her choice to go drink. I think this is the right audience for this question, and I guess what I am asking is... How much should I put myself inbetween her and the alcohol. Should I support her in the battle so blindly that I am a drinking partner should she choose, a friend, a loved one etc. Or... as frightening as it seems to me, should I include myself on the list of things that she will be/already has thrown away if she continues to drink. I have a lot of fight left in me, but I know that I wont be able to stay in this current situation forever...

Brian
Brian245
 

Re: Really new to this, could use some words of wisdom...

Unread postby Addie » Wed Nov 23, 2011 2:14 am

Alcohol dependence can affect people in five main ways: Socially, emotionally, financially, mentally, and physically.
Social side effects include the following behaviors:
• Lying to hide drinking,
• Exclusively attending activities where alcohol is served,
• Always drinking more than intended,
• Neglecting responsibilities and breaking promises because of drinking,
• Drinking in dangerous situations, such as when driving or when taking prescription medication, and
• Feeling guilt or shame about drinking.







[url=http://www.sandfordhighschool.com]Ged online[/url]
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Re: Really new to this, could use some words of wisdom...

Unread postby MandyCane » Sat Nov 26, 2011 11:20 pm

You don't have to throw her away. You can tell her that you can not be in a relationship with her at this time, but you want to be a friend to her and help her to quit drinking. She has to make the effort though and do whatever it takes to stop drinking. Good luck.
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Re: Really new to this, could use some words of wisdom...

Unread postby Blace » Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:27 pm

This is my very first post. I was looking for an Al-anon meeting to join for help. My son was released from prison last November and left me 1 month in Oct 2011 because I was gettting to close to discovering he was using again. Sorry I didn't post the years in prison were a result of drug and alcohol abuse. Violent being the number one not only. I'm afraid. I cut him off his behavior is killing the late 50's of me. I'm not a victim.
I love my son but can not be around him any longer. I look for help. Please.



































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Blace
 

Re: Really new to this, could use some words of wisdom...

Unread postby blace » Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:32 pm

MandyCane wrote:
> You don't have to throw her away. You can tell her that you can not be in a relationship
> with her at this time, but you want to be a friend to her and help her to quit drinking.
> She has to make the effort though and do whatever it takes to stop drinking. Good
> luck.
Look towards ourselves somes\times for the outcome of others.
blace
 


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