by Ellie123 » Mon Dec 08, 2014 8:34 am
Update: Nothing changed. When I ask (plead!) that no alcohol - not even beer - is in the house, he says, "I'm a MAN and I WANT beer in the fridge. Period!"
This man is the love of my life. But he refuses to accept that I have a problem that I've been honest about from before we even got together. I can only see one way out. But I am without any means of income. I have tried to show him what happens when I'm trashed, but the sex is so good (for him I don't remember anything) he wont accept that I will not 'get better'. He feels cheated I think (what he considers to be great sex is no longer available). And I feel cheated out of a life. I'm' not living a life. I'm living a slow death of both my marriage and myself.
We had a big fight a couple of years ago - largely due to my frustration at his lack of understanding - at the end of a night out where he bought me wine after wine after wine. I knew, even in my inebriated state, that I was uncomfortable with the situation growing around me - at which point another full glass appears in front of me. The next day, waking up in a trashed house from the row the night before - he STILL wont admit I have a problem!
The trouble is, that because I don't look like i belong in the gutter he, like his friends, thinks this is some silly notion. He wont believe anything until he sees it for himself. I refuse to put myself in the gutter to prove a point - by then it will be too late for all of us anyway. I have gone as far as I dare go in showing him what happens. I am angry that any disappointment he feels about this is entirely his own fault for not listening. I was two years booze free before this. Needless to say I am gutted to find myself at this juncture.
I am here because I am asking for some perspective from you all, before I have one final attempt to get him to understand.
Am I right or wrong to keep banging on about this? Should I just leave? Should I shut up and be thankful for everything else my husband brings to this marriage (despite the bottom two drawers of the fridge being FULL with beer)? Feeling lost and helpless.