Hoping to go to 1st meeting tonight but SCARED!

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Hoping to go to 1st meeting tonight but SCARED!

Unread postby Little Nina » Sun Jan 08, 2012 4:39 pm

Hello everyone

I've just registered and I am trying/ hoping to go to my first AA meething this evening. Today is the first day I have not had a drink in many years. I'm 35. I have social anxiety and am very nervous about going to my first meeting. Yesterday I broke up with my boyfriend because he is a bad influence/enabler. I wish I had someone to come to the meeting with me and I'm definitely afraid I won't go because of the anxiety.

Any advice on what to expect first time around? Will I need to get up & introduce myself/ talk? I am hoping to just go & see what it's like at first; sort of ease into it...

I'm in South Philly - does anyone have experience and/or advice on meetings in the area?

thanks very much!
Little Nina
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Re: Hoping to go to 1st meeting tonight but SCARED!

Unread postby Little Nina » Mon Jan 09, 2012 9:12 am

Hello!

I am posting a reply to my own thread in case anyone else is/was in the same situation as me.

Well, as expected I was too anxious/ scared to go to my local AA meeting. Instead, after some research I ended up at SMART Recovery and I attended an online voice chat meeting. It was amazing!!

I am very new to recovery - today is just my 2nd day sober in many years, and although I've 'tried' quitting many times, I haven't looked into the 12 step or group therapy type stuff before because of my social anxiety and unease around people. Well, in the online meeting room there was no such worry! I could just listen/learn if I wanted to but I was WAY more comfortable contributing to the discussion and even surprised myself. Everyone was super nice and encouraging and supportive (as I'm sure describes many AA meetings as well - I want to make it clear that I am not here trying to endorse one method over another). If anyone is nervous or has social anxiety like me, this may be a great alternative and/or compliment to this website and the AA 12 step program.

Additionally, at just my first meeting I learned a very valuable tool for coping with urges that really worked! First time!! I'm going to share, although the information is readily available online.

It's called "Playing the tape/ script all the way to the end". What this means is that when you have an urge to drink/ use, visualize the series of events that will transpire if you do. Really try to re-live and feel the experience. For me, it goes like this: If I go get a bottle of wine, I will drink the whole damn thing, and probably end up getting more. I will make a fool of myself if I am talking to anyone, or if I am just home alone I will get depressed. Next morning I will feel like sh*t and heave into the toilet for a while (fun!) and I will be in the midst of a panic attack (not to mention the self-hate I will feel). Now, playing out the scenario and really visualizing it.... I swear the urge goes AWAY for real!

The SMART program appeals to me because it provides tools for coping with urges, frustration, etc and is focused on self-empowerment (is admitting you're powerless really helpful?) and behavioral techniques. Again, I've not tried AA and I am very thankful it exists and that so many people have benefited. However, I think the SMART program can be used together with AA for those of us who are ready to throw everything we can at this affliction. Please check it out if you're interested.

Thanks for viewing! Best of luck.
Little Nina
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Re: Hoping to go to 1st meeting tonight but SCARED!

Unread postby abclimo » Tue Jan 10, 2012 5:07 pm

Little Nina: Hi and welcome and thanks so much for your post. I love the method you described here and I think it can be used for almost any addiction. One thing I do, that may or may not benefit or appeal to you is, when I feel the need to use/drink I would journal how I was feeling and why I thought I needed to use/drink. After doing it for a while, I went back over what I had written and I was surprised to find out that there was a lot of common feelings. When I learned about those feelings, I was able to work on those feelings and it was a huge help. People at meetings are very nice and if you decide to go to a meeting and people aren't exceptionally nice and welcoming, don't go back to that meeting. Not all meetings are the same. In the beginning I tried so many meetings and found 3 that I felt so comfortable at, that I was able to get my hand up and share and it made me feel so much better. I'm very shy and it was not really easy in the beginning to share, but when I started to, I was so glad to be able to and I had so many people who made it a point to talk to me after meetings and I was able to get phone lists of people to call BEFORE I used/drank. I'm so glad you have taken the first step and you can continue to do this, you need to tell yourself that you are worth it and keep a positive attitude. Please keep coming here and posting, we do care.
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Re: Hoping to go to 1st meeting tonight but SCARED!

Unread postby Lifering Bob » Sun Jul 29, 2012 7:09 am

Check out LifeRing online meetings 24/7 chat, http://lifering.org/chat-room/, Internationl We site lifering.org
Little Nina wrote:
> Hello!
>
> I am posting a reply to my own thread in case anyone else is/was in the
> same situation as me.
>
> Well, as expected I was too anxious/ scared to go to my local AA meeting.
> Instead, after some research I ended up at SMART Recovery and I attended an
> online voice chat meeting. It was amazing!!
>
> I am very new to recovery - today is just my 2nd day sober in many years,
> and although I've 'tried' quitting many times, I haven't looked into the 12
> step or group therapy type stuff before because of my social anxiety and
> unease around people. Well, in the online meeting room there was no such
> worry! I could just listen/learn if I wanted to but I was WAY more
> comfortable contributing to the discussion and even surprised myself.
> Everyone was super nice and encouraging and supportive (as I'm sure
> describes many AA meetings as well - I want to make it clear that I am not
> here trying to endorse one method over another). If anyone is nervous or
> has social anxiety like me, this may be a great alternative and/or
> compliment to this website and the AA 12 step program.
>
> Additionally, at just my first meeting I learned a very valuable tool for
> coping with urges that really worked! First time!! I'm going to share,
> although the information is readily available online.
>
> It's called "Playing the tape/ script all the way to the end".
> What this means is that when you have an urge to drink/ use, visualize the
> series of events that will transpire if you do. Really try to re-live and
> feel the experience. For me, it goes like this: If I go get a bottle of
> wine, I will drink the whole damn thing, and probably end up getting more.
> I will make a fool of myself if I am talking to anyone, or if I am just
> home alone I will get depressed. Next morning I will feel like sh*t and
> heave into the toilet for a while (fun!) and I will be in the midst of a
> panic attack (not to mention the self-hate I will feel). Now, playing out
> the scenario and really visualizing it.... I swear the urge goes AWAY for
> real!
>
> The SMART program appeals to me because it provides tools for coping with
> urges, frustration, etc and is focused on self-empowerment (is admitting
> you're powerless really helpful?) and behavioral techniques. Again, I've
> not tried AA and I am very thankful it exists and that so many people have
> benefited. However, I think the SMART program can be used together with AA
> for those of us who are ready to throw everything we can at this
> affliction. Please check it out if you're interested.
>
> Thanks for viewing! Best of luck.
Lifering Bob
 

Re: Hoping to go to 1st meeting tonight but SCARED!

Unread postby bethcarr68 » Mon Jul 30, 2012 4:01 pm

Nina hi im bethany tonight is my first one tonight as well. well kinda...i just got back out of rehab again. third time this year so far..im sooo scared i dont know what anyone is going to say if anything actually i am really scared
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Re: Hoping to go to 1st meeting tonight but SCARED!

Unread postby dfm » Fri Aug 24, 2012 8:21 pm

Hey, new to the site and I was reading through some of the posts that have been written and definatley can famaliarize myself with alot of these situations. Little Ninas stick out the most for me though. She stated that she drinks and drinks until passing out or making a complete fool of urself. I am 30 years old and have a 1yr old daughter and been married for a year and a half. I can understand where you are coming from. I love wine, more than beer and other alcohols. I have learned to appreciate it and now its what I primarilary drink. This is what I did two nights ago. My wife ivitied her cousin and bf over for dinner and a movie. We door this alot being that we are very family oriented. Well I got home had a glass of wine with dinner and began to sit down and watch the movie. Well my issue is that I am a very hyper person when sober and drunk. I downed a magnum of cab in under 2hrs. I then opened up another in a box. I started getting hyper and wanting the people drinking with me to get to my level and have fun and never go to bed. Well it was a weekday and due to my crazy schedule i have off during the week and my wife works weekdays early in the morning. Well long story short, I drank way to much, everyone went to bed and I was bored and wanted to do something. Where I work im used to being up for 40-50 hrs straight. So thats the other end of it. Well i found something to do alright, and that was going to the casino. Its the second time in 4 months that I have gone and come back empty handed(bank acct 0) and feel like crap. Ive been totally wasted on both occassions and have lost 700 each time. The amount is not alot because i rarley gamble and i dont really drink as much as I used to when I went to Penn State. My kid and being married has settled me down, but when I say Im getting trashed, I mean it and I usually end up hating myself in the morning and have to make phone calls to makes sure i didnt offend anyone or hurt anyone. Im tired of that lifestyle. It happens at least once a month where i have a bad load, and i know its because i drink to much to fast bc im hyper. its very frustrating and i just want to feel better and save more money. in my life ive prob spent 250k on booze either at a bar or at home. I spent 5k in one month at school, it was disgusting. I dont know, i relate to little ninas situation, it is difficult, but we are having fun while doing it and everything seems so right, but when you wake up your like WTF. I dont know, I like wine and feel like i want to learn how to moderate myself with it and not be so hyper. I love my wife and my daughter I just dont want to feel like im letting myself down all the time and them as well. i get so frustrated, hope this all makes sense.
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Re: Hoping to go to 1st meeting tonight but SCARED!

Unread postby Fifi » Sat Aug 25, 2012 9:21 am

Hi Dfm,

I can relate. Wine is my absolute weakness. I can easily drink a bottle on my own and I'm a petite person. I can't seem to stop before the bottle is completely empty even if I have a nice buzz going. I recently started seeing a therapist because I feel my life lacks direction despite having so many goals and dreams. My therapist is helping me to realize that it's alcohol that is at the root of my unhappiness. I, too, would like to be a person that drinks in moderation, but my therapist seems to think with my addictive personality that won't work. I don't know...I don't want to think of myself as someone with a disease but perhaps that's what it is.
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