My Mother is an Alcoholic and doesn't know it.

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My Mother is an Alcoholic and doesn't know it.

Unread postby Ang » Thu Jan 12, 2012 11:38 am

I need someone to talk to and this was my best outlet. I am the daughter of an alcoholic. My mother. She has had a problem that I know of for at least 15 years. We have tried the promise that she will get help. She has at one time found god... that faded out... Found AA her response "those are people with serious issues." Cold turkey... faded out... Her verbal abuse was one that I just pushed to the side.. when I spoke up I was told to appologize. Now I'm 31 years old and I will not appologize. Her abuse has gone to the next level Physical and I will not stand for it. I have not and will not speak to her until she sobers up. It's the Alcohol or me. She has chosen the alcohol. Now here we are a year and a half later and she sure does know how to but on the I'm the victim act and I've got my grandfather and Uncles all rallying behind her... I'm sorry but I'm sticking to my guns on this. I am now 4 months pregnant. The last time I got into it with my family about her drinking and two weeks later I lost a baby. Maybe not as a result of it but I feel it contributed. I don't know what I'm looking for here. Any comments or suggestions?

Re: My Mother is an Alcoholic and doesn't know it.

Unread postby Guest » Sat Jan 14, 2012 12:35 am

:| I am recovering 28 years and am grateful to God that I got sober before I had children. As a child of an Alcoholic, you may want to look into Alanon. If it is something you choose not to have in your life, you have the right. You could consider writing a letter to her explaining how her drinking affects you and why you are choosing not to be around that and to let her know that when she is ready, you are willing to support her in sobriety, if you are.
I wish you the best.

Re: My Mother is an Alcoholic and doesn't know it.

Unread postby BklynChik » Mon Feb 06, 2012 12:30 pm

I too am the child of an alcoholic and also a recovering alcoholic. I know how frustrating it must be to see someone you love going down the path of destruction. My advice would be to go to Al-Anon and get a sponsor before taking any actions.

Do you live with your mom? Can you afford to live on your own if not? I'm hoping so.

You have every right not to accept abuse. You need to protect yourself and your baby.

Keep us posted here, I'll keep you in my prayers.
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Re: My Mother is an Alcoholic and doesn't know it.

Unread postby teatime22 » Thu Feb 16, 2012 3:35 pm

I grew up with alcolism also, my mother still drinks. She has been sober a few times, it never lasted long. I have my own family now and I struggle to maintain our relationship. I am fed up with the lifestyle and problems that surround alcohol. I sometimes want to wash my hands of the situation. I am constantly vigilant that I do not enable. Your mother should not need backup from the family members. If they feel you are being unfair to your mother then they just do not understand; perhaps enabling her as well. I feel my limits have been pushed tooth far. Only we can set those limits. It hurts to do that but tough loveis sometimes the only option today. You made a hard but good choice for yourself. Keep up the good work.
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