First Meeting

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First Meeting

Unread postby Figuring_it_out » Mon Jan 23, 2012 10:08 pm

Hi, I am planning on attending my first meeting this evening. My way of fixing my drinking issue has obviously not worked and I feel like its time to do it right. I'm "normal" 95% of the time but its the other 5% that just cant happen, therefore I cant have one or two anymore. It has taken me a long time to figure this out. I was just wondering if anyone has any tips for what I should do or expect tonight? My father is a strong advocate of me going and would like to come along, is this acceptable? Thanks in advance for your help.
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Re: First Meeting

Unread postby kristen » Tue Jan 24, 2012 6:50 am

good morning and again i did not go to a meeting last night the courage to step into one is really the fear that i cant drink anymore by going to a meeting it makes it real sooo im still in denial i guess
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Re: First Meeting

Unread postby abclimo » Tue Jan 24, 2012 2:16 pm

Figuring and Kristen: I don't know if you did go to your first meeting or not, so I'll answer some of your questions. Yes, you can bring your Dad with you, unless it is a "closed" meeting. "Closed" just means that it's for people with addiction only and not their family members. I have never attended a "closed" meeting, so I am not sure exactly what they do there that may be different. Of the 3 meetings I attend regularly, there are often people with the disease of addiction who bring their family members. I have heard family members share how much they have learned by coming to meetings and how they are more able to understand what their family member is going through and that's not as unusual as they thought it was. Kristen, you said that you think it's the fear that you can't drink anymore. It's probably overwhelming to think that you'll never be able to drink again, especially if you are a younger person. I know I was overwhelmed and by listening to others, you'll hear that they are more able to deal with it by breaking it down into not drinking/or taking drugs for today, or for 12 hours, or 15 minutes. You need to break it down into a smaller unit of time that isn't so overwhelming. Also, find some things to do instead of drinking/taking drugs. So many people go for walks, go to the gym, volunteer at a food pantry or soup kitchen, etc. There are so many things we can do to occupy our time until the severe craving passes. It's important to put a plan into place. Please come back and keep posting.
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Re: First Meeting

Unread postby kristen » Tue Jan 24, 2012 3:36 pm

ty for posting that im really glad i just saw it, thinking this will be a very hard week... im sure i will have some withdraw. but i do have a plan one that includes this site. im still struggling with going to a meeting. im off for 2 weeks and there are millions of meetings so i really dont have an excuse. but for right now im sober and hope to be for the next few hours then i can add a few more hours to that . yes i think lifetime was somewhat over whelming for me so im going hour by hour
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Re: First Meeting

Unread postby Michele » Tue Jan 24, 2012 6:57 pm

kristen wrote:
> ty for posting that im really glad i just saw it, thinking this will be a
> very hard week... im sure i will have some withdraw. but i do have a
> plan one that includes this site. im still struggling with going to a
> meeting. im off for 2 weeks and there are millions of meetings so i really
> dont have an excuse. but for right now im sober and hope to be for the
> next few hours then i can add a few more hours to that . yes i think
> lifetime was somewhat over whelming for me so im going hour by hour
Hi Kristen First of all good luck and welcome to sobriety. I can tell you that its not easy. What works for me is thinking about how lousy I feel w/ a hangover. I drank for 35 years and am working towards my 5th year sober. I am truly a better person sober. Go to meetings. You are sssooooo not alone. Keep busy. Journal. outpatient rehab is very educational. Be the person there that came voluntarily not mandatorily. Exercise. Eat healthy ..it will help your endorphines. YOU CAN DO IT!!
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Re: First Meeting

Unread postby abclimo » Wed Jan 25, 2012 8:06 am

Kristen: I'm glad you were back and posted. When we hear "never, ever, or forever" in any situation it is overwhelming. And I think when we're in an already upset state such as trying to kick an addiction to the curb, it is difficult enough without trying to think of never, ever, or forever. It's difficult to admit that we have a problem too and I know when I admitted I had a problem, I felt really crappy about it and went through a lot of "I hate myself for doing this" kind of feelings. Eventually, we learn to deal with those and remember that we are not such a terrible person after all. It's a whole big healing process. I also have something else I do when I am struggling and that is journaling. I journal everyday. In the beginning, when I realized I had a problem, I would journal what I was feeling, what was going on, etc., when I had really bad cravings and right before I used. Then after a while, I would go back and read what I had written. It's amazing what I learned about myself by doing that. So many times we are drinking/using to cover feelings, including feelings of anxiety, depression and more; be more able to deal with things or people; to deal with stress at work, etc. Sometimes we can uncover what feelings we are having when we have the severe need to use/drink and deal with those, and that becomes a huge help. Also, we have to get honest with ourselves and others. At one meeting I went to, there was a speaker with about 21 years clean time and she talked about WHO (willingness, honesty and openmindedness). I have learned so much by going to meetings and the better meetings have never been stressful to go to and no one has ever put stress on anyone to share if they didn't want to. I know that meetings are not for everyone and that it is very difficult to walk into one for the first time. I am a shy person by nature, so when I walked into my first meeting, outside of rehab, I didn't really know what to expect. When I walked through the door, I almost passed out from the stress of it. As soon as I got through the door, I saw that there were only 2 women there and about 9 men and though "oh, boy". I have to say that is still one of my favorite meetings to go to. There was one man, a little younger than I am that came over, hugged me, and welcomed me right away, offered me coffee, and took me to a seat and sat by me and explained how meetings worked. The reason they hug you at a meeting is because you never know when it may be the last time you get a hug from that person, or the last time they receive a hug from anyone. Please keep posting here, and I'll be happy to keep posting back to help you through by answering any questions and just being here for support. Hugs!
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Re: First Meeting

Unread postby kristen » Wed Jan 25, 2012 2:42 pm

thank you both of you :) im doing hour by hour so for this hour i am sober evenings are difficult for me but have plans to keep busy they going to meetings still need to figure out why i dont go, im not really that shy? sooo ?? maybe i should write about that!!!! i think i will set aside 1/2 hour tonight and write about why i fear going to that meeting for the first time? xoxo ty ty ty so much for being on the other side of my computer
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Re: First Meeting

Unread postby kristen » Thu Jan 26, 2012 7:58 am

well another sober night and fresh morning this am
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Re: First Meeting

Unread postby abclimo » Thu Jan 26, 2012 8:40 pm

Kristen: WooHoo!!!! Great going! and Congrats! I know how hard it is and thanks for posting so we can cheer you on.
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Re: First Meeting

Unread postby topcat » Fri Jan 27, 2012 5:08 pm

Well, I have known I have a drinking problem for awhile now so...I'm going to my first meeting tomorrow. I'm nervous but ready to make a change because I'm tired of the choices I've been making and the regrets that come along with getting drunk. I like the sober me so much better than the drunk me and I'm hoping to start a positive climb in my life. Hoping I don't see anyone from work, I don't know why but that seems to be my main concern. Thank you to everyone who has posted on this, I've already learned a lot from reading your stories and questions and hope that I can get a handle on this.
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Re: First Meeting

Unread postby abclimo » Sat Jan 28, 2012 9:44 am

Topcat: Hi and welcome and Congrats! Admitting you have a problem and taking that first step is huge! I've been to lots of different meetings and I have only run into two people I knew already, one was from rehab and the other was a friend who I knew had an issue and went to that meeting. If you do run into someone from your work, you have to just remember that they are there for the same reason as you and they are probably just as uncomfortable with running into someone they knew. Chances are they will not tell anyone they saw you there because they would have to admit they were there. It's great to wake up and not have to wonder what you did the night before and having the regrets. Please post back and let us know how you did with your first meeting and how you are doing because we do care.
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Re: First Meeting

Unread postby delcomark » Mon Jan 30, 2012 8:41 am

Hi, I went to my first meeting last wed. Im getting ready to go to my second meeting today at 1230. The mid-day meetings seem to fit more into my schedule. Although I wasnt able to get up the nerve to say anything last week, im hoping I will today.Everybody there was friendly and I felt comfortable just sitting and listening to others share. I'll admit I didnt make it from last wed till today without a drink but Im not close to giving up. It took along time for me to get to the point where I want to stop drinking. So Im just going to keep trying for as long as it takes. Thanks and good luck.
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Re: First Meeting

Unread postby abclimo » Sat Feb 25, 2012 6:18 pm

Delcomark: Hi and hope things went well at your second meeting. Our disease of addiction is not an easy one. We can't have just one or two of anything, we don't understand or can't exercise moderation, so for us it's all or nothing. Let us know how the second meeting went and whether you were able to share or not. It's interesting when we go to our first meeting, we don't really know what to expect and there's a lot of anxiety with that. Glad you're taking the steps to kick this to the curb. Hugs!
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Re: First Meeting

Unread postby chuck » Fri Mar 02, 2012 11:06 am

I just started recovery in a IOP treatment. I am 8 days clean. Interested in attending na meetings. I am a little nervous in attending but I am will be going to one this evening. This is not easy but I am doing my best.
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Re: First Meeting

Unread postby delcomark » Fri Mar 16, 2012 7:57 am

Good luck chuck. Im sure you can do it.
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