spouses in AA together

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spouses in AA together

Unread postby giniu » Mon Feb 06, 2012 4:08 pm

i've been trying AA @6 months but still having troubles. my husband just started attending al-anon with 1 of our adult children. my question is that i really believe he has his own alcohol problem, he "somewhat" knows this but hasn't admitted it. is it okay for both together to attend AA meetings or should he continue doing these meetings without me? thanx giniu
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Re: spouses in AA together

Unread postby abclimo » Sat Feb 11, 2012 11:01 am

Hi! It's a very individualized decision on whether to attend meetings together or separate. I do go to a meeting where a Mom, a Dad and a daughter attend together because they all realized they had issues. I have also seen friends come to support their friends and brothers or sisters come to support their siblings. I have heard the downside voiced that they didn't feel they could be as open with some family members present because they didn't want them to think badly of them for what they may have done. I personally have heard a statement recently that really hit home with me and it was "Secrets keep us sick". I fully believe that, if we can keep one secret, then we can keep other secrets. I heard a fantastic speaker one evening talking about "WHO" at first I was baffled and she expanded on it as "Willingness, Honesty and Open-mindedness" and I believe that is important in recovery. When I admitted that I had a problem and went into rehab, I told my husband that day that there would be no secrets from that point on and I told him about the things I had done during my addiction and that was probably one of the most difficult things I had ever done. He had a lot of anger towards me and we had to work through that, but we didn't get to that point in a day and you can't expect to get back in a day either. I know you'll find the right path!
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