I love my wife, but I hate her when she drinks

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I love my wife, but I hate her when she drinks

Unread postby MJ23 » Thu May 15, 2014 9:04 am

We have been married for 3yrs, but have been together for 10. Throughout those years, my wife has been pulled over by the cops 3 times, drunk as a skunk, but each time they let her call me to come pick her up without arresting her. Her father, with whom I am extremely close, is a recovering alcoholic. Her parents and I believe she has a problem, but my wife doesn't see it. The near DUIs don't even count the times she's gotten drunk and started arguments in public with me or someone else. Most recently, she wants a divorce bc she says I don't make enough money, I don't clean up after myself unless she asks me and that she just isn't happy. I've tried to clean more consistently, but it never seems appreciated or good enough. She had cancer at 18 and had a hysterectomy at 22 (before we met). She's never talked to anyone about that and I don't think ever dealt, which i don't think helps the drinking. She also says that now it's my fault that we can't have kids bc she says I don't make enough money. Since I raised concerns, she doesn't drink as often, and can even have one glass of wine after work without incident. But at other times, all hell breaks loose. And she's mean and nasty when drunk. Her dad tells me to try not to take the things she says personally, but it's hard. Hard to concentrate at work. I love this woman, but I feel like I need to get away from her to protect myself emotionally. She does and says things to hurt me and then my job suffers bc I feel broken. At the same time, I'll feel guilty if I walk away from her. I guess I don't really have a question to ask. Just good to write it and see the words instead of them clouding my thoughts. Thanks. Feel free to comment if you want. I'd love to hear what people think. Helped already to read other people's posts. Good to know I'm not alone. Thanks!
MJ23
 

Re: I love my wife, but I hate her when she drinks

Unread postby Flock » Thu May 29, 2014 2:13 pm

I am sorry you are going through this. I am an alcoholic and have upset my husband often and I have regrets about that. But I would never listen either until I was ready. It isn't hard to watch I know because I am also a daughter of an alcoholic who was powerless to do anything. One thing you might want to consider is Alanon- you can get great support there.
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Re: I love my wife, but I hate her when she drinks

Unread postby MJ23 » Thu Jun 05, 2014 12:37 pm

Thanks, Flock. Her dad and I went to an Al Anon meeting last week. It was rough. I was a wreck. But after awhile of listening to others share, I felt a little more comfortable. I'm glad her dad went with me. He even spoke in the meeting. I'd like to go back again this week. My wife says she's been seeing a therapist. I hope that's true and I hope she's being honest with the therapist and herself, bc her problem isn't just depression, it's also the drinking. Anyway, thanks for your supportive words! What a destructive disease this is. Hope you're well!
MJ23
 

Re: I love my wife, but I hate her when she drinks

Unread postby Druggerr » Tue Jul 22, 2014 1:51 pm

she should get a rehab treatment, and sh'll be okay.
call: 855-977-9659
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