Just found out wife doing cocaine for 8 years. HELP ME

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Just found out wife doing cocaine for 8 years. HELP ME

Unread postby Melissa&Brian » Fri Jul 04, 2014 6:20 pm

On may 28th I came home and my wife told me she'd done come a "few"times in the last few months. She told me because she thought I found a bag of coke. When I didn't seem too upset with what she told me. She said it relaxed her and said I should do it with her sometime.Which I didn't. 2 days later I realized she had been lying and I started looking I to phone records. I discovered it was going back 6 months, the more I researched the truth out the farther back it went. Well as of 3 days ago it reached back 8 YEARS ! Initially I asked who she got I from, she said "I'm telling you" that told me I knew who it was. She has been lying since then and is still covering up for people who she thinks are her "friends". The more I found out from her the better I can handle the situation, the more I find out because she is hiding people and a mounts she's do e the worse off it is for her . How can I convince her to come clean on everything ????
I truly believe she needs rehab but I just lost my health insurance 2 days after I found out. What should I do ???? We share this screen name with the hopes of getting help so she will see what you write.
I NEED ALL THE TRUTH !
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Re: Just found out wife doing cocaine for 8 years. HELP ME

Unread postby mermaiden143 » Fri Jul 18, 2014 2:00 pm

Hi Brian,

I have had addiction in my family for many years, starting with my mom, my brother, countless friends, and even myself for a period of time, and currently my fiance struggles with his addiction. This problem touches so many people, please know you are not alone. There are thousands of people dealing with the same problems you are. Truth is such a powerful need, and I feel the same way, but i have learned through the alanon and naranon programs, that the past and the details are not what matter. Believe me, she does not want to be a liar and manipulate the people she loves. This disease is a very difficult one to beat and the most powerful thing you can do as the loved one, and not the addict, is to show compassion, love, and patience. You didn't cause her problem, you cannot cure it, and you cannot control it. The only thing you have in your power is to look within. By looking within, we improve our defects, we lead by example, and we give the addict a choice. They know they are on a slippery slope, they know that it is unhealthy, and if you take some steps to go to your own meetings and find your own happiness whether the addict is using or not, then you will benefit and so will they. I encourage you to go to meetings and discuss your current issues, there is so much support in the rooms, with tons of stories just like yours -- I promise that one hour will help you find some relief and maybe some hope... God Bless you both. It is a big process for a couple so, just go one day at a time.

Love,
Megan
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Re: Just found out wife doing cocaine for 8 years. HELP ME

Unread postby Melissa&Brian » Mon Jul 21, 2014 9:50 pm

First time I checked this in 3 weeks. Thanks for the advice. It's been good so far, but there are days when I'm smiling at her and all I see is afucking straw up her nose. I want to punch her as hard as I can In Her throat sometimes. I believe she started it just to spite me, well that's what I'm getting from it anyway.
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Re: Just found out wife doing cocaine for 8 years. HELP ME

Unread postby Melissa&Brian » Thu Jul 31, 2014 7:47 am

I can't deal with it, she can go **** herself! 28 years together and she threw it all away. I hope she fucking DIES !!!
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Re: Just found out wife doing cocaine for 8 years. HELP ME

Unread postby AnnDM » Mon Sep 08, 2014 2:26 pm

Brian,

I am so sorry you are going through this. I can totally relate only my spouse chooses opiates. They don't care about anyone but themselves. I hope you can see one day that we need to put ourselves first in order to help others and a horrible reality is that we can't force them to do it for us.
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Re: Just found out wife doing cocaine for 8 years. HELP ME

Unread postby GlobalMedia » Fri Feb 20, 2015 11:26 am

Hello,
I'm in a 3 year relationship with this woman I totally love unconditional, however I just found out during the end of the summer she been using cocaine the whole 3 years of our relationship, not to mention I asked her way before was she using or ever used.. she denied it.. so I accepted that.. I try to help her with getting the right treatment, yet later I found out from her pass she been off and on for over 5 years, and alcohol kicks in to it as well.. to where I moved out for a few months cause I didn't know how to deal with the lies she tell me, or finding straws and bags, and alcohol.. now its like she using excuses or hides it still ..every week I search places in the house since I came back during new year.. please help me on how to support someone that's just seems like they want help but still hangs around the same people that does it with her or she just makes excuses to used.. but Denys she high...
I want to be with her yes but at what point do I get her to understand she not alone and it affects us as well..
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Re: Just found out wife doing cocaine for 8 years. HELP ME

Unread postby jjcab » Thu Dec 17, 2015 6:23 pm

I am an addict and I went here to see how people deal with the issues we create. I am surprised at how reactive people are and angry. I am no saint and can understand your anger, but have you looked over on the addiction section? One misconception is that we use out of selfishness and wanting a good time. Not for me. I hate using. I get anti-social, shameful, and then hear the nasty things from the others it hurts. So, I just wanted to share that. It is not the case with everyone, just us recurring addicts. Hope this helps, I know this section will help me!
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Re: Just found out wife doing cocaine for 8 years. HELP ME

Unread postby Guest » Thu May 05, 2016 7:47 pm

I feel like my life is a great and magical show, and no one sees what goes on behind the curtain.
I do what ever I can to hide my husband's addiction and it makes me sick. He probably spends about $400 a month on coke.
I found out last July that it has been going on for 3 years before that. He is not all bad, but at times it get's really bad.
He's up all night getting high and I follow him around ready to loose my mind, worried what will happen next.
The fact that he lied and did this for so long makes me question his integrity and how to trust him.
I worry each time I walk in the door that he's gonna be all fucked up, and my little girls are gonna ask me questions.
I'm spinning on a lost path out of control.
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